What Can I Say...

3 years today...

2011-07-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

3 Years ago today at 11:11 a.m. Ezra Cotton Ross entered this world. What a blessing! It was such a joyous moment when I got to see him. What a beautiful boy he was. Both Beau and I were so proud. And we still are. It is a bitter-sweet day. But still a day that I would never give back!

To celebrate Ezra's birthday today we went and decorated his grave a bit. The kids were very involved. Even Jack (that is what we are going to change our little guys name to that we are in the process of adopting YAY!) was helping to keep the ants off of his headstone. They even ended up decorating with a few clover flowers after everything else. It seemed as though Tilly and Tucker couldn't tell enough people that it was their baby brothers birthday today, but that he was up in heaven. I was SO proud every single time I heard them say that. Buuut at the same time it hurt. Tears filled my eyes every time and I had to keep my head down or look away when they would say it. I didn't want them to see me sad. They were so happy that we were getting to celebrate Ezra's 3rd birthday! One thing we did this year was release three blue balloons into the air. The reason was because of the kids. Tucker and Tilly were so very concerned that Ezra wouldn't know we were wishing him a happy birthday so they wanted to send balloons up into heaven so that he knew it was for him. What love!

I really want this to be a positive post. June 30th is a day of celebration! At the same time it's hard. It is a constant battle inside to try to stay positive on this day. I don't want to be sad. I want to be grateful....grateful that Beau and I were chosen to be his parents and we got to meet and love such a special spirit. BUT you see I struggle. As I was sitting by his grave I couldn't help but think that I shouldn't be decorating his headstone, and taking pictures of the family at his grave. I should be decorating the house for him. Making a special cake for him and wrapping up his presents. I should be taking pictures of his first bite of cake and his expressions when he opens his gifts. But that isn't how it is. He is gone. But only from this mortal life. I know and believe with all my heart that he was with us today as we sang Happy Birthday to him at the Cemetery. I know that he knows how much we all do love him. And that does bring me happiness.
SO I WANT TO WISH MY BEAUTIFUL EZRA A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This song...

2011-01-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

I Give You to His Heart By: Alison Krauss
The wind is blowing down the quiet river,
a shining road that carries you alone.
Baby boy my love will last forever.
If you're to live, I must give you up to God.

I know our God will guide, protect and keep you.
Teach you faith and hold you by the heart.
Though your mother's heart is broken by your leaving,
her Father knows just who he is and who you are.

I wish that life wasn't always ending up this way,
with Heaven's love at stake and hell to pay.
But you in God's loving plan might be the missing part.
You must live.
So I give you to his heart.

The wind is blowing down the silent river,
a shining road that leaves me all alone.
A life for you's worth losing you forever.
Some day we'll stand in God's fair land, forever home.

I wish that life wasn't always ending up this way,
with Heaven's love at stake and hell to pay.
But you in God's loving plan might be the missing part.
You must live.
So I give you to his heart.

I wish that life wasn't always ending up this way,
with Heaven's love at stake and hell to pay.
But you in God's loving plan might be the missing part.
You must live.
So I give you to his heart.

This song makes me think of my Sweet Ezra. He has been on my mind a lot lately. Or I should say a lot more than usual. I've been thinking of how blessed I am to know one of mine, beau, tucker, tilly and JJ's angels. I know that he is with us at times watching us. I know that he misses us and loves us so much. And just as much as we are wishing he was with us I am sure even though he is in a much better place than us he still wishes to be with us. One day we will all be together again. I know this. Sometimes the pain is so fresh. It will be with me, beau and the kids for the rest of our lives.
I'm so blessed to know where Ezra is and that just because he is gone does not mean that it is over. I will hold him in my arms again. And it will be without the tubes and wires everywhere. He will be perfect and pain free. I am also so blessed to know that my Father in Heaven knows me inside and out. He cares and loves us all so much. I was thinking of how I felt after Ezra passed and how angry I was at God. I felt like he had forgotten me and Beau. After much prayer and TIME I now know that our Father in Heaven was hurting as well. He knows our pain and sadness we are his children. I know that even though I was so angry he was trying to comfort and love both me and Beau. I know that I was not alone. I was never left alone. He did not forget us.
I know that this was probably out of nowhere but that is how it goes for me. It just feels good to write all of this down. Have it out there.

One of those weeks...

2011-01-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

Yes it has been one of those weeks. One where NOT ONCE have I actually done my hair cute. One where I can't get to anything on time. One where I want to scream and pull all of my hair out. One where all I've wanted to do is sit alone and think and it isn't happening! One where I wish my sisters and mom lived closer. One where I wish certain events in my life had NEVER happened. (I'm not talking about my marriage...I love it) One where I want to ask God to give me a pass for the week and make EVERYTHING right. I know other people feel this way but I just want things to work out perfectly for a while. I want stresses gone. I want the snow to melt. hahaha. Now I should start listing all of my wants. HAHAHA just kidding.
Sometimes I feel like life starts to get to crazy. But at the same time nothing different is really happening. Siiiiigh. Odd post I know.
By the way most of these pictures I've been posting look like crap because they are taken with my camera phone...stupid camera is acting funny. Next post won't be a downer.

Family

2011-01-03T20:08:00.001-08:00

A few family pics.

Baby Joe Dirt...

2011-01-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

I had to post this picture of JJ. The kids and I were cleaning up dress ups and found these wigs. JJ honestly did not care. He just smiled and giggled. The blonde one makes me think of Joe Dirt as a baby. HAHAHAHA

So We Begin again...

2011-01-03T19:17:00.001-08:00

Well, let's hope that I can keep this up. I really want to. Even if it is just to jot down a few thoughts i had for the day and what not. Let's start with Christmas 2010. What a magical and wonderful Christmas it was for our family. Beau and I took the kids to DISNEYLAND for Christmas and it was truly a magical moment. Tilly got to meet each of the princesses and dance with them. I honestly got a little teary eyed watching her dance with the princesses. I know I'm such a sissy. Tucker was tall enough to go on big rides with his dad. I know that may not seem like a big deal to some people but to Tucker it was HUUUUGE! JJ actually got to go on some of the rides with me and Tilly. He liked some and didn't really care about others. I was also excited because Beau had never been. I have been once a very very loong time ago. So for everyone it was memorable. I also got to experience what it was like to be chewed out several times in Chinese. Yep I must have done something wrong because I got it a few times from some Asian folk. I just smiled. hahaha what else am I gonna do....flip em the bird? NO!!!! It's Disneyland for heavens sakes!
I do want to list what everyones favorite rides or parts were about Disneyland. Tucker: The HUGE roller coaster in Disneyland Adventures, Tower of Terror and Splash Mountain. Tilly: Dancing with the princesses, meeting all of the characters. She HATED Tower of Terror hence the picture below Beau: Pretty much everything...but he really liked It's a Small World and the Roller Coaster JJ: eating...and eating. I will say he did not care for Mickey getting in his personal space while he was eating. Me: Seeing everybody's excitement...and the woman that called me a B****. hahaha No worries I told her how foul she was. I do need to say...I DID NOTHING WRONG! Her husband slammed Tilly into a metal door because he was in a hurry to get on a KIDS ride. Uh huh....WATCH OUT FOR MOMMA BEAR!
THEN we had New Years Eve. Since we had done so much traveling we decided to relax at home with the kids for New Years. We ended up renting Super Mario Bros.. SO MUCH FUN! It did end up getting a little competitive. So we would stop and take snack breaks to cool down. Truly addicting.
Our lives have been so busy lately with the kids in school and JJ and the foster care situation. It's been crazy! And I am very thankful for my crazy life. I would rather the craziness over being alone or without each and every one of them.
Beau, is doing really well with his job. Really liking it...but of course there are days where he has had enough. LIke most jobs. We feel so blessed. Our Heavenly Father has blessed us in so many ways. I feel so lucky...and sometimes so undeserving. Siiiiiigh.
Okay well I know ONCE AGAIN that I jumped from topic to topic ...but that is how my brain works. Until next week.....
Oh also I am just posting a bunch of pics from Disneyland that I took with the phone. The others will have to come later.

p.s. I can only post pictures that I took with my phone because we took a lot of pictures with the kids disposable camera. HAHAHA

Tarzan's Tree House

Obviously this is right after the Tower of Terror. Poor thing cried for a bit.

Mickey is totally in JJ's personal space. He is getting the classic JJ stare down. HAHAHAHA

So MaGiCaL

I have returned...

2010-08-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back for now. haha. Ohhh life has been crazy! I have so much to catch up on. First of all once of the most important things that I need to mention is that there is a new member of the family. We are currently fostering a baby boy named Jeremiah (we call him JJ). He has been with us for about 3 months. We are so excited! What a blessing he is. Hopefully we will get to adopt him...BUT we'll see what the Big Guy has planned right. Anyways, JJ is all smiles!!! Unless he is pooping or hungry...and man does the boy like his food. haha. We all just love him so much and Tucker and Tilly ADORE him...maybe a bit much at times. hehe.

On to the next updates. Tucker and Tilly have started school. Tucker is in Kindegarten and Tilly is in Pre-K. Oh my heck so hard to take my little man to his first day of school. I sucked it up though and put on a big smile for him. I am so happy that both Tucker and Tilly have friends in their classes. I was so worried that they would feel alone.
We had a very fun and exciting summer and hopefully I will post those pics sometime. I did get to go to a rodeo with my mom and sister! I HAD A BLAST! I love my family so much! How lucky I am.

NEW SUBJECT:
Okay so today has been kind of crazy. No not just today...lately. I can't really pinpoint what it is in life that is making me feel this way right now. Sooo I've just been pondering. I started thinking about my day today. This is how it went...First I woke up every hour with the kids. We like to play musical beds. then I woke up at 5:10 to go running. I was dressed and ready and then the run was canceled due to lightning. ERRRR MOTHER NATURE!!!!!!!! So I went back to bed. Then I got up at 6:30 and went and fed JJ. Then I went back to bed. Alarm went off at 7:30 ( I reset it after run was canceled) got up showered and threw hair up in a messy bun. NO MAKEUP because no time. Got Tilly all ready for school. Took Tuckers temp 2 different times. Fed breakfast to the kids put them all in the car (that is too small) and drove Tilly to school. I then came home and got Tucker ready for the day. Gave JJ a bath fed a bottle. Put on some makeup and got in car to take Tucker to friends house while I got woman doctor. Got to woman doctor place and SAT THERE FOR AN HOUR!!!!!!!! In the waiting room with a baby that has dihareaha and snotty nose. Noticed that I had to pick up Tilly from school. Went and RESCHEDULED appointment that is a month away...again! Went and picked up Tucker and then went and picked up Tilly. Came home fed lunch put JJ down for about 1 hr. He usually needs 3. Then took all of them to DHS building for JJ to visit birth father. Ran to store and then back to pick up JJ. Came home cleaned rooms made beds, cleaned kitchen, got dinner going , swept floors, made popcorn for kids while they watch movie. And now I'm here. WHEW! So now I know why life is crazy. I'm sure most people can handle busy busy. NOT ME! I feel like when that happens sometimes the important things like family time and stuff like that get put on the back burner. Siiiigh. I also thought that if I were getting paid for what I do everyday...I'd be one rich momma.
Now, I know this is a really complain -ee (TOTALLY MADE UP WORD) post but I need to do it. Right now I'm typing with my big fat Skull Candy headphones on (thank you Ron) and listening to Hillary Weeks. TOTALLY need to be alone with my thoughts. Does anyone else every feel that way? Where there is so much going on in your head about what you have to do and what happened that day that you just need to mentally be away? I'm really feeling kind of naughty because the kids want to come in here with me and I keep telling them that mommy needs just a tinsy bit of alone time. :) Anyways, I'm going to try to start updating more often. Enjoy these few pics!

P.S.Jessie I hope this is good enough for a little bit. hehe

THAT'S IT!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!

2010-04-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm ready! I can DO THIS! I am going to cut out THIS:

AND THIS:

All I can say is I need to do this....AND I need to see if I can do it for at least a month. I want to eat healthier...BUT I will still have this:

No point in taking everything away. That is asking for TOTAL FAILURE!

He has arrived!!!

2010-03-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

A BIG Congratulations to my beautiful twin! Baby Porter was a healthy, BIG baby! He is adorable and I just couldn't get enough of him. Thank you Becca and John for letting me be there to experience that with you guys!
To be able to be there and watch the birth of a beautiful healthy baby was so very special to me. I'm glad that I was able to be there. It was hard...a would be lying if I said it wasn't. But it was also a hurdle that I was able to overcome and to see that I was able to be there and be happy for Becca was good for me. ANYWAYS...My mom and I were able to be in the room with Bec as she delivered Porter and let's just say we were there for comic relief I think....actually it's more like MOM was there for comic relief! "You look like your sister." Yes she said that while Becca was in the middle of delivering the baby! Everyone just stared at her with an expression on their face like they couldn't believe she had said that. WELL then come to find out she was talking to Becca's doctor. She was friends with his sister! Anyways great time. Enjoy the pics!

CHECK OUT THAT HAIR! WOWSERS!

A HUGE thanks to this pretty lady! Thanks Jessie for making it possible for me to be able to be there for my sister! I asked her last minute and she was totally happy and willing to watch Tuck and Till for me and I just feel sooo blessed to have friends that are so loving and giving! Thank you Jessie!

The Park...

2010-03-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

I LOVE SPRING TIME! We decided after church that the kids needed to get some wiggles out so we took them to the park. What a great time....that is after Beau was able to talk Tucker into ENJOYING the park. It just took a bit of coaxing and he was game! Tilly had no troubles enjoying her time there. SHE WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE! Loved it!

BUT eventually we got him into it and he LOVED IT! Little miss Tilly was like a monkey on the jungle gym. Fun but sometimes nerveracking!

So BeHiNd...NEVER Caught Up!

2010-02-24T15:01:00.001-08:00

Yep...Can't seem to get caught up...

Also really wanting my photoshop back. Got a new computer and need Photoshop but lost it in the move! D**N...Yep...I meant it too!

ANGELO'S Paint Your Own...

2010-02-24T14:43:00.001-08:00

SO MUCH FUN! I wanted to take the kids to paint a plate so then I could hang it in the kitchen. They had a blast. I did too. Loved watching them concentrate on their artwork! My good friend came with and luckily she did because...well yes she was a TON of help! And well...it's just nice to hang with a friend.

Plates before...

FuN TiMeS

The Finished Product...

Uhhh...Christmas??

2010-02-14T10:39:00.001-08:00

Yes I know that it is February and I am just now posting some of Christmas. Better late than never I always say. Anyways we were so blessed to have Ron (Beau's dad) come and spend Christmas with us. It was our first Christmas at our own house. SO nice and relaxing. Although I must say I did miss the chaos that comes with being with the whole family! LOVE YOU ALL!

Next BOTH Tucker and Tilly got to be in little Christmas performances! Tucker sang some wonderful Christmas music for all the parents in his preschool. Tilly was able to preform Suzy Snowflake in her dance recital. Such a blast to watch both of them. I know I should emphasize more on everything but I'm behind on all of this! All I can say is I am so proud of them!

We were so EXCITED to have our dear friends from Iowa come to visit us! It was a short stay but still so fun! I really miss all of the good friends that we left in Iowa. So if anyone wants to visit you are MORE than welcome! Katherine's little boy was just a tinsy babe when I last saw him in Iowa and then when they arrived he was so big...and SOOO SMILEY! Oh my heck I have never seen a baby smile so much. LOVED IT! Tucker and Tilly were so excited to see Henry and Maria. They made it clear to me that Tucker was going to marry Maria and Tilly would marry Henry. AND yes we love James (father/husband) hahahaha. No really we love them all and were so happy to see them and see that they were doing well.

Infinite Power of Hope

2009-12-30T12:02:00.000-08:00

I came across this today and thought I would share. I know that what he says is true. So I just thought I would share this with all of you.
Infinite Power of Hope

Snow Day and our Home Sweet Home...

2009-12-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

Just and FYI my sweet husband took the pictures of the house because the ones I had taken were not good enough. HAHA..that's my sweet hubby for ya.
So we got a foot of snow here lastnight and it is awesome. For the first time EVER the kids have been able to go out and actually play in it for about an hour before getting too cold. I love the west. Also just so you all know I helped shovel...I wasn't just standing around.
One more thing...we still have A LOT of decorating to do so I know it looks a bit empty...but in time.

Just and FYI my sweet husband took the pictures of the house because the ones I had taken were not good enough. HAHA..that's my sweet hubby for ya.
So we got a foot of snow here lastnight and it is awesome. For the first time EVER the kids have been able to go out and actually play in it for about an hour before getting too cold. I love the west. Also just so you all know I helped shovel...I wasn't just standing around.

Turkey Day...

2009-12-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

We had my sisters Aimee and Becca come and do Thanksgiving with us in our new home! YAYAYAY. ( I will post pictures of it soon) and my mom and dad came out as well. We didn't have a kitchen table YET (it was being shipped) so it was a bit interesting but a TON of fun! This is what I am talking about...i love that we are so much closer to family.

The Denver Zoo

2009-12-07T13:46:00.000-08:00

It's so nice to be so close to family now. We were able to go and have a fun day with Scott and kelly (Scott is Beau's brother)at the zoo. Loved it...but not as much as the Omaha!!!

A Day in Denver...

2009-12-07T13:36:00.000-08:00

So we went and had a little visit with Kelly and Brett and lucky for us we got to see Kyle and Angela as well. Fun times. Denver was having some kind of celebration...don't know what but it was fun....and dirty. We got to go to a Rockies game! SUPER FUN!

Big Time OVERLOAD...

2009-12-07T13:25:00.000-08:00

These awesome pics are of me and my dear friends in Iowa. Katherine, Angela, Kate and Sarah. Miss you all. Tilly is striking a pose in one. SHe is a ham. Tucker and Tilly are the best of friends. I know this is so choppy but with how far behind I am I just have to do it this way.
Okay we've got Katherine and james...LOVE THEM! Tiff and Adam...LOVE THEM AS WELL! We sure do miss these guys. The one with Beau next to the car is his first day of work at the office. GO Dr. ROSS!!!

One pic but MOOOORE to come!!!

2009-12-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

K this is going to be our christmas card...yayayay! So excited. My sister in law took the pics. Gotta love her. Okay I have like 200 pictures that I am going to post and I'm not going to really say a lot about them...because there are too many. It is just going to be a catchup. K.

sooo...

2009-11-29T19:13:00.001-08:00

okay so i have a computer but it is a MAC Desktop...soooo does anyone know how you upload pictures to this computer?

Seriously...

2009-09-10T08:41:00.001-07:00

Okay I am going to start posting again. I promise. I have just been so out of my routine and still am. BUT I will post some more. Peace Out!

Celebration...

2009-08-09T17:22:00.000-07:00

During the month of June we celebrated alot. We were able to celebrate Tucker's birthday at the begining of the month and mine in the middle. Then we were able to celebrate Beau's graduation. So many celebrations.
At the end of the month, June 30th to be exact we were abe to celebrate the 1 year birthday of our Ezra. It was a very special day for us that we chose to spend as a family. We all went to the flower store and bought a pot to place at his headstone. Then we went to dinner together and then went home for Cake. Ezra, may be gone from this mortal life but he is still here with us everyday. His birth was a special day. It is the day that we got to meet him. What a beautiful, strong boy he was. Such and exciting moment. Beau and I are so grateful for getting to know our son. We thank the Lord everyday for blessing us with him. If we had it to do all over again we would do it. What a blessing to be able to meet our son and love him and know him. So yes, June 30th is a day of celebration. It is the day we got to meet our son. I won't lie, it was a hard day as well. Hard because he is not here in our arms. Because we can't see him trying to walk or talk or laugh. Hard because those dreams we once had of raising him in our little family here were shattered. BUT we are going to try to remember the wonderful parts on this special day.
I would just like to say Thank you to everyone that was thinking of us or called to say that they remembered his birthday. Thank you so much. It truly means so much to have people remember him and to keep his memory alive. As parents we pray that he will always be remembered just they way we remember him. I know this is not always possible but we honestly love it when he is remembered.

CONGRATULATIONS

2009-07-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

Okay now to updating again. And once again I am extremely behind. My excuse...PACKING!
Beau, graduated from Dental School on June 4th I believe. I am sooo proud of him. He put in a lot of hard work and alot of time. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!
I just can't believe that it has already been 4 years. WOW. Time flies.

Well, since we are done with IOWA FINALLY, we will be moving. OBVIOUSLY. Destination: Grand Junction, CO. We are really truly excited to be moving there. Beau, is going to start working with a dentist there and is really excited to get out there. I know that everyone pretty much knows that but like I said...I AM BEHIND. Okay more later. Peace out.

Tucker is 5!

2009-07-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well Tucker had his 5 year Birthday Party! YAY TUCKER! I have the best 5 year old in the world. Here are 5 things that are just awesome about Tucker.
1. Tucker's imaginiation is AMAZING! This kid will blow you away with some of the stories he comes up with.
2. Tucker is a very sensitive boy. Now that being said...he is still a boy! Loves to wrestle and show me new moves that kill the bad guys.
3. Tucker is always watching out for his little sister. He loves her so much.
4. Tucker loves to be a big boy and "babysit" Tilly for me while I am doing my hair or makes sure she isn't "sneakin treats". What a Helper.
5. And finally...Tucker is my first born and such a blessing to us in so many ways. Full of life and laughter. What a character he is. WE LOVE YOU TUCKER! Thank you for coming to be a part of our family 5 years ago.
We had a little party in our backyard for Tucker and he had all his little friends come.

Our Ballerina...

2009-07-09T14:09:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is YES I AM BEHIND!!!! Now below are some pictures of Tilly at her dance recital. She took lessons at Nolte Dance Academy and LOVED IT! Tilly had her little friend with her in class. She also happens to be our neighbor as well. So Beau wasn't able to be at her recital so my dear friend KATE came with me...ahhh thanks kate. I will try to post the recital up if I can figure out how to put it on here. Until then this will have to do.

Soooorry!!!!!

2009-06-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

Okay my computer is broken so I can't load up any of my pictures....and they are adorable. We are talking ballet and birthdays. So yes I have a lot of work. I hopefully will repost soon!!!!!!!

Love and Marriage...

2009-05-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

Yes it was our anniversary on May 8th. That just goes to show how behind I am. SAD I know. Anyways, it was a wonderful anniversay. My lovely husband took the day off so that we could celebrate. That in and of itself was all I needed. If that is all it would have been I would have been happy. Just to have Beau home with us was a pleasant suprise. But we did end up going out. We went to a movie and then to dinner at my FAVORITE place. Shorts Burger and Shine. AMAZING!!! It was just fun...I loved it.
I just wanted to say how thankful I am to have Beau. I know I have said this before but he really is my best friend. I wouldn't have wanted to go through these 6 years with anyone else and I look forward to the many many more we will have together. So here are 6 things that I love about Beau.
* I love your optimism. You are always looking on the brightside. I won't lie there are times when I don't want to hear it. MOST of the time though I LOVE IT!
* I love that you are a clean freak. I love it. I would hate to live with a slob.
* I love you determination to be the best father, husband, dentist, brother and son that you can be. You are always trying to be better. What an example you are to me.
* I love how you and I can sit and laugh about the stupidest things until we are crying. Those are such fun and special memories.
* I love that you are my strength. When life is too hard you are there. You are there to hold me and help me through it. You are so very patient. I pray that I am the same for you.
* I love that right now I am watching you laugh hysterically because you are trying to see how far you can pull Charlie's tongue out while he sleeps. You are full of joy and love for life.
Below are a few pics from our Anniversary.

February to MAY...whew...

2009-05-17T20:27:00.001-07:00

FROLIC or should I say PROM! This is Beau and I before we went out to Frolic. It was some kind of celebration for the D4 students since they are done this year. Yes so fun getting to go out but then when we got there....well it was just like prom but everyone was older. I was never a real fan of prom. But hey I will take any oppurtunity I can to spend some time with Beau.

SO Happy Easter! Yep super late! It was fabulous! We had a wonderful time dying eggs together...and of course we spilled the dye..but it is to be expected. Tucker and Tilly LOVE dying the eggs. They even put beautiful stickers on them. Both of them wanted to take an egg to bed with them...I think they wanted to do that last year as well. And no I didn't let them do that. For Easter dinner we spent it over at the Hunter's house and some of our friends were there as well. Good times. Charlie was enjoying the easter spirit as well.

More updates to come. I am really behind.

Sooooo BEHIND....

2009-05-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Okay I am way way way behind with blogging. I am going to do quite a large post of pictures real soon. I am motivated to get going again.

The Spirit oooof the.....

2009-04-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

RIght now I am listening to the kids up in their room. HILLARIOUS!

Tilly: I'm spirit oooof the....Slimy guy
Tucker: I'm spirit of the dinosaur

Tucker: Ching ching ching (sword sounds?)
Tilly: Tucka...I'm being...I'm being...
TIlly: Oh Tucka this is my book. This is my favorite color of book. I colored it.
Tucker: Oooooh Tilly if you like these things then you will win something. (What???)

Seriously if you are looking for entertainment just sit and listen to your kids talk to eachother. Too FUNNY!

Now Tucker is reading to her. LOVE IT! They are hillarious!

Thought I would post some pics of my mom's visit. The kids were soooo happy when she came out. We love you Grannie!

Oh the THINGS we've been doing...

2009-03-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

Oh my so many things that we have been up to. So many things and we haven't posted. So we will just do a quick little catch up post with picture overload.

Making ALOT of monster cookies. Lately they have been our families favorite!

Spending ALOT of time in timeout. The kids have decided that it isn't really important to listen to me. So they get to spend alot of time on the couch (afraid of charlie).

Making Pizza from SCRATCH..yep that is an accomplishment for us. The kids loved having their own pizzas. I made this Pear and Gorgonzola pizza with tossed greens on top. DEEEEEEEEELICIOUS! One of my favs.

Going to Girls Night on Monday night to watch the Bachelor (BARF) and The City. Yes I am admitting to watching that show. I would like everyone to see how intense these girls were while watching the final rose ceremony. Yes this was SERIOUS...i got yelled at a few times for voicing my dislike for that little weiner ....I can't even remember his name because I disliked him so much from the get go.

AND finally...we have been giving ourselves HAIRCUTS! YAY!! Not really. So I tried to cut Tucker's hair..ya know save a few pennies. Not a good idea...I ended up buzzing his head. Then I guess Tilly decided that she needed a trim. Well, she found herself a pair of scissors (we will not mention the grown mans name whose fault it is for leaving scissors out in the first place. I promised that I would not get upset with him so yeah...whatev). Tucker came downstairs and let Beau know that Tilly was doing naughty things. So he goes upstairs and sees our little princess trying to hack off her ponytail that is on TOP of her head. AHHHH...I was sooo sad. I love love love love Tilly's hair. I love doing Tilly's hair. It's okay though I think we can work with it. During this whole hair cutting week Tucker has been talking about how "the crazy clippers" got out of control and cut off his hair so now he looks like Adam. (our neighbor). Well after seeing what Tilly did Tucker was sure to let her know that now Tilly looks like him and Adam. Niiiiice.
Our dear neighbor Adam did inform me though that he is the epitamy of COOL. So I just thought I would post a picture of him so that everyone would know what my kids are striving for. WE LOVE YOU ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. I am not posting a picture of Tilly until after we get her hair fixed. So sorry..haha But there is a picture of all the hair she cut off. And a picture of Tucker with his new do.

Charlie the chicken and the little ballerina...

2009-03-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

Today I was upstairs folding clothes while Tilly and Tucker had friends over. Well since they had their friends over I had to put the gate up so that Charlie wouldn't bother their friends. Well, little miss Tilly did not like that. She thought that CHarlie was sad and needed some attention from her. So to she started calling to him so that he would come to her. Here's how it went down.
Tilly: Chaaaaalie (Charlie without the R)
Me: Honey I think he is just tired.
Tilly: Chaaaaaaaaalie! Chalie come here boy.
Me: Till seriously just go play he is sleeping.
Tilly: He's so sad. Here I call him k.
Tilly: Bock bock...bock bock booooooock bock bock boooooooock. ( chicken sounds)
Me: (laughing silently)
Tilly: Oh where's my good boy...where is he
Me: Okay Till go play...he's just tired.
Tilly: Bock Bock...okay Chalie

Just had to post that so it wasn't forgotten.
ON ANOTHER NOTE...
Little miss has been in dance for the last little while and is LOVING IT! She is just the cutest thing to watch. And she is a very good student. At home she is constantly practicing her "heel Smash" move from tap. Here are a few pics of our ballerina.

Say Hello to My Little FRIEND...

2009-02-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

So after much, much, much thought we decided to get a dog. YES we did. And this time we get to keep him FOREVER! So we had to put a lot of thought into what type of dog. Main reason for that is because my kids are TERRIFIED of dogs! So we couldn't get a little yapper...and personally I can only handle so much of those. We needed a bit of a lazy dog. One that wouldn't go barking at the door every time someone came over. Sooooooooooo...we got an English Bulldog! AND HE IS ADORABLE! We named him Charlie. Yes I LOVE LOVE LOVE the name Charlie. We've had a few pets named Charlie and Tucker's teddy bear is named Charlie. So we or I REALLY like that name. Here are a few pics of Charlie.

Oh yes and if anyone has advice on potty training him...let me know A.S.A.P

The Liahona...

2009-01-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post here. I wanted to write it down before it is forgotten. So I have been really trying my hardest to read the kids the scriptures in the morning. It is not an easy task but once we are reading I just feel such peace. I really want the kids to have a love for the gospel. I know growing up my mom would get us up at 6:30 to read scriptures and I honestly feel that seeing her love for them and devotion to teaching them to us is what enstilled such a love for the gospel in me. Sorry if that was a run on sentence. Anyways, here is how a conversation went with Tucker a few days ago.
T: Mom where is the Liahona?
M: mmmmm...well ya know that is a good question for daddy. Let's see if he knows.
(obviously I am not a genius with gospel or scripture stuff but I am trying)
T: Hey mom, why doesn't the Liahona work for bad guys.
M: Because...they don't follow the commandments of god
T: what are the commandments?
M: Uhhh...that is something we are going to read about later. But they are kind of like rules. ( I'm sweating bullets because like I said before I'm not the best and I'm afraid that the conversation is going to get deeper if the questions keep coming)
T: So the Liahona only works for the good guys.........(thinking)........Well, since I have been good do you think Heavenly Father will give me the Liahona?
M: No but it would be way cool if he did.
T: Why won't he.
M: Because there is no need for it right now.
T: Why?
M: Because...are you ready for lunch?
T: Mom, I love the scriptures. They are my favorite.
M: Tucker that makes me sooo happy.

That conversation right there gave even more determination to read to them...not only for them I've realized but because I need it (REALLY BAD). I just love the feeling that comes with reading the scriptures. I feel such a peace inside throughout the remainder of the day. So yeah...just a little post there.

2009-01-18T16:57:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted for a while. Sorry about that. Trying to figure out the new normalcy here I guess. We had a friend take some fun pictures for our Christmas cards so I thought I would post some. Okay I'm posting alot of them. The ones of Tucker and Tilly are so precious! They totally show how they are with eachother. Just such amazing bestfriends. Thank you so much for taking them.
Christmas with the family was nice this year. Hopefully I will get around to posting pictures. We were able to spend christmas with the Ross side this year and it was really very nice. Always nice to be with family. While we were there my brother was deployed to Iraq so we were able to see him off. Beau had to come home for school and the kids and I stayed an extra 2 weeks with my family. I'm so thankful I was able to see the sisters! Love em! So that is pretty much it. I know real quick maybe I will do more later. And hopefully post pictures.

FAMILIES ARE FOREVER

FYI...

2008-12-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

Well just thought I would let everyone know that the BLURB website where you can make your blog into a book, is no longer compatible or whatever with blogspot. YEP I AM SERIOUS! FRUSTRATED HERE! If anyone knows of a website that does have the ability to make your blog into a book PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Thank you so much.

Our Angel

2008-11-18T22:20:00.001-08:00

So here I am at 11:30 at night trying to figure out how I am going to write this. I mean how am I going to write this? I’ve thought about this over and over and over again. I don’t know how…and honestly I don’t want to know how.
Ezra passed away October 3rd 2008 at 4:30 a.m in my arms. Both Beau and I were with him. He was due for a surgery in the morning of the 3rd to put a PD Cath in to prepare him to come home. During the night Ezra became very ill. By morning Ezra had a very slim chance of survival because he was so ill. So the Doctors did an Exploratory Surgery to see what was going on. A blood clot had stopped blood flow to most of Ezra’s small intestine. Because of that Ezra’s slim chance of survival was gone.

When people would go into Ezra's room to see him they would always comment on how strong he is. They also commented on how before going into his room they would be so worried and anxious and then after entering his room they felt this calming and peaceful feeling around them. I believe that it was Ezra. I believe that they felt his strength and love. And I believe that the Lord was there calming as well. He probably knew that our little guy need positive feeling around him at that time in his life.
I don't know what to write. What mother or father knows what to write about their baby that was taken so soon? All I can do is write what I feel. That's all I know how to do.
My Ezra…my beautiful, beautiful Ezra. I wish you could have stayed with me. I wish that I were holding you right now and smelling your sweet baby smell. I wish I were getting up in the middle of the night to feed you or just hold you and comfort you. What I would do to hold you again…or smell you. Just to feel you. To hear your cry…I dream of your cry.
I am so angry at times…well most of the time, that you were taken from me so soon. Angry and hurt I guess. Why did God take you so soon? People tell me that you were to pure. They tell me that I will be with you again. I guess that should bring me comfort. Maybe someday it will. Not right now though. It is too painful right now.
I am grateful for your strength. I know that every day that you were here with me was a miracle. I believe that you wanted to meet your mom and dad and when you did you begged God to let you stay just for a bit longer. I believe that he told you it wasn’t going to be easy, but you didn’t care. You are such a strong boy. Because you stayed we got to hold you and bathe you. We got to smell your sweet breath and hear your sweet cry. How grateful I am for everyday that I did get to hold you and sing to you and read to you.
I wish I could have taken the pain away. I would have taken it if I could. I would have taken everything. What was hardest was not being able to help you. All we could do was be there. How helpless your dad and I felt. I think the most important thing to a parent is protecting their children. How hard it is to know we couldn’t protect you. For that I am sorry. I am so sorry.
I miss you terribly. Every minute of every day you are on my mind. I am always wondering where you are. Are you here with me or are you busy somewhere else right now?
I know that you are okay now. I know that you are happy. I know one day I will see you again. And hold you…and never let you go again. And for that knowledge I am grateful. How lucky we are to have such a beautiful strong boy like you.
I am so thankful for your strength and for staying for as long as you could. I’m thankful I got to see your beautiful face. We will miss you everyday until we are with you again.

Ezra...

2008-09-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't posted in a little bit so I will do a quick update. I have alot of pictures that I need to post but I just haven't had time right now. I will though. So Ezra is still on the CVVH. They took him off for 24 hrs to see if he would urinate on his own. Well in the 24 hrs he was of he had about 2 cc's of urine come out. Yeah...not a whole lot AND he got puffy again. So he is back on the CVVH and thinner than I have seen him in about 2 months. They are hoping that his kidneys will recover in time. We just need to be patient. If they do not recover he will most likely need long term care until he is able to recv a transplant. BUT that is down the road and we don't even know if that is something that needs to be thought about right now. So we won't talk about that right now. His eyes are open quite a bit and he is starting to focus them a bit more. He really is a beautiful boy.
Tucker and Tilly are doing good. We were able to go to the Apple Orchard as a family on Saturday and it was a blast. The kids loved it! I loved it. At the end of our long walk through the orchard we sat down and had a wonderful HOT apple turnover. YUMMMM. Tucker kept on telling me how much he loved apple pie. Oh, well actually we didn't walk the whole time. We were able to hop on to the tractor going by. Fun stuff.
Beau is doing well, he has recently told me that he is a great photographer and from now on he will be the one taking the pictures. So all the pictures from the Orchard are from Beau. I must say he really does get some pretty things on camera. He's so funny. Love that guy. So I know that is short, sweet and choppy but that's all I have time for rightnow. I will post pictures in a bit.

"White" Poppa and Bright Eyes...

2008-09-14T15:27:00.000-07:00

We have been so lucky to have family come out and help us lately and Ron (Beau's dad) just came out for 10 days to spend time with us and the grandkids. What a WONDERFUL visit it was. I am happy we were able to spend time with him and he was able to see Ezra. Tucker has named him the "white" Poppa for obvious reasons. It was so cute the whole time he was here Tilly would just keep telling him that she loved him. This morning he was in the bathroom and Tilly knocked on the door and said "Poppa I love you." So dang cute. Tucker loves to tease Poppa and Beau with the whole Yankees and Red Sox thing. Somedays he is all for the Yankees and others he is all about the Red Sox.

Ezra is looking pretty good. He has lost alot of fluid and some of his numbers have improved. He is doing really well on the Dialysis. We are hopeful. And of course he is still not out of the woods but this is yet another good day. One of the most exciting things was to come in and see his beautiful eyes. Beau and I can't get enough of them. What a beautiful boy.

All Sorts of Stuff...

2008-09-10T21:26:00.001-07:00

Well, today was a decent day considering everything. Ezra went on CVVH on 9/6/08 and has been tolerating it fairly well. His blood pressure has been good and so has his heart rate. Two things that they were concerned about. And still are. So far the Dialysis is doing what we wanted it to. Ezra is very slowly starting to lose some of the fluid that is in his tissues. So we are hopeful...still worried but hopeful. Got to keep the balance. For those of you who don't know the CVVH is pretty much acting as his kidneys right now. So for now Ezra is "stable"...very very very sick but stable. I was so happy today because Ezra was able to open his eyes for the first time in a long long time. What beautiful eyes he has.
Tilly and Tucker are doing well, especially since Beau has been staying home with them. The "white" Poppa is here right now and the kids love it. Tilly is always telling Poppa how much she loves him. I am so happy that Ron is here right now, we just love him so much. So in the evenings when the kids are in bed Beau and I come up together to see Ezra. I am here all day during the day and then in the evening Beau and I will come up together.

So that is pretty much the latest with all that is going on in the Ross family. We still continue to fast and pray for Ezra that the Lord will heal him. And pray that he will bring some comfort to Ron and the family in their time of grief. How thankful we are for our faith and knowledge of the gospel.

CVVH and ECMO...

2008-09-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

Ezra’s Update 9/6/08
I don’t even know where to start anymore. I’m just going to write what exactly my understanding is of what is going on. So if I lose you along the way I am really sorry.
Last I wrote Ezra had started to pee again. He was doing really really well. He started to lose some of the fluid and we were really hopeful. Well, then Ezra’s PD (Peritoneum Dialysis) Catheter started to leak so they had to stop the Dialysis. They also wanted to see if Ezra would pee and just keep up with it. Well, he was doing okay with urine output for a tiny bit but it of course started to trail off AGAIN. His blood pressure has been low so they have been trying to give him medicine to get the blood pressure up so that he would pee. Well, since giving him these medicines like Dopamine and for a short time an Epi drip his heart started to work hard which made the walls of it enlarged. Enlarged walls of the heart are not good in case you don’t know. It is a very bad thing if it starts to get too enlarged. The Cardiologists did an Echo and decided that he needed to be taken off of the high doses of medicine like Dopamine. So they have been able to take him from 30 mcg/kg/min to 8 mcg/kg/min.
We are still having a hard time getting his blood pressure to stay up and his heart rate low (so that his heart isn’t overworked). Ezra is still not urinating like he should. He has about 1 cc of urine an hour. He is EXTREMELY puffy. His skin is starting to get really shiny. I asked the nurse why and she told me that it was because his skin is just being stretched so much and it will start to crack and ooze a bit because he is so edematous.
Now, because Ezra is not urinating like he should and the P.D is not working like it should we are most likely going to try the CVVH. I am sorry I don’t know what that means. It is the where the blood is constantly being filtered and then put back into the body. They are trying to get the Urea and fluid out. If the CVVH does not work then we are looking at ECMO. Beau and I DO NOT want it to come to this but if that is Ezra’s last hope than we will do it. We feel like Ezra deserves as many chances as he can get. Below I have copied a description of what ECMO is for everyone to know what it is and what it entails. Beau and I pray that the CVVH does the trick. If Ezra went on ECMO it would be an even scarier time for us. Ezra already has the Coagulapothy problem and has had bleeds in the past. They would monitor Ezra’s brain to watch for Hemorrhaging but it is still so extremely scary and risky.

EXTRACORPOREAL MEMBRANE OXYGENATION

In intensive care medicine, extracorporeal membrane oxygenation (ECMO) is an extracorporeal technique of providing both cardiac and respiratory support oxygen to patients whose heart and lungs are so severely diseased that they can no longer serve their function.
An ECMO machine is similar to a heart-lung machine. To initiate ECMO, cannulae are placed in large blood vessels to provide access to the patient's blood. Anticoagulant drugs (usually heparin) are given to prevent blood clotting. The ECMO machine continuously pumps blood from the patient through a 'membrane oxygenator' that imitates the gas exchange process of the lungs, i.e. it removes carbon dioxide and adds oxygen. Oxygenated blood is then returned to the patient.
There are several forms of ECMO, the two most common of which are veno-arterial (VA) and veno-venous (VV). In both modalities, blood drained from the venous system is oxygenated outside of the body. In VA ECMO, this blood is returned to the arterial system and in VV ECMO the blood is returned to the venous system. In VV ECMO, no cardiac support is provided.
VV ECMO can provide sufficient oxygenation for several weeks, allowing diseased lungs to heal while the potential additional injury of aggressive mechanical ventilation is avoided. It may therefore be life-saving for some patients. However, due to the high technical demands, cost, and risk of complications (such as bleeding under anticoagulant medication), ECMO is usually only considered as a last resort therapy.
ECMO is most commonly used in NICUs (Neonatal Intensive Care Units), for newborns in pulmonary distress. It is around 75% effective in saving the newborn's life. Newborns can't be placed on ECMO if they are under 4 and a half pounds, thus ruling out the device for most premature newborns. Newborn infants are occasionally placed on ECMO due to the lack of a fully functioning respiratory system or other birth defect, but the survival rates drop to roughly 33%. The time limit for a newborn is usually around 21 day max. Dr. Thomas Krummel, Chairman of General Surgery at Stanford University, held the record for the longest survivor on ECMO at 62 days. This record was in turn broken recently on January 30th, 2008, when a patient at NTU hospital, Taiwan survived a drowning accident after 117 days of ECMO application.[1]
'ECMO can have dangerous side effects. The large catheters inserted in the baby's neck can provide a fertile field for infection, resulting in fatal sepsis.' (Excerpted from How Doctors Think by Jerome Groopman, M.D.
In Adults ECMO survival rates are around 60%. In Adult VV ECMO there are reports of patients being supported for over ten weeks. ECMO has yet to have proven survival benefit in adults with ARDS.
Management of the ECMO circuit is done by a team of ECMO specialists that includes ICU physicians, perfusionists, respiratory therapists and registered nurses that have received training in this specialty.
In VA ECMO, patients whose cardiac function doesn't recover sufficiently to be weaned from ECMO may be bridged to a Ventricular assist device (VAD) or Transplant.
**********A little update***********
Ezra right now is on CVVH and the surgery went smoothly and so far so good. Meaning that no big complications yet and hopefully never. So once again this is taking his blood out and filtering out all the toxins and fluid and putting it back in. We will see how this goes. Beau and I pray that this works for our little man. We will keep updating.

A mind of his own...

2008-08-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well, here is the latest update on Ezra. Ezra has been on Peritoneal Dialysis to try and assist his kidneys, get the fluid off and get the toxins out of his body. Ezra was doing well on the Dialysis until it started leaking around the catheter going into his Peritoneum. When that happened they had to reduce the amount of Dialysis fluid that they were putting into his Peritoneum. When they reduced the fluid that they were putting in his B.U.N started to rise. The BUN rising meant that the toxins in his blood were not being removed, so the Dialysis was not doing what they had hoped. With the rising B.U.N that could make it even harder for his blood to clot and make it harder for him to fight off all the infections that he has.
Dr. Colaizy (who is the doctor on staff right now) talked to us about the situation and told us that they felt it was very important that we start Ezra on the Hemo Filtration Dialysis. They will put a catheter into his body that will take the blood out filter it and put it back in. I know that isn’t a very good description but that is the best I can do. Two of the worries that come with this are of course infection, and trying to maintain a good blood pressure. There are many other worries or risks but I’m not going to list those right now. The surgery will take place tomorrow, so we will keep you all updated on how it goes.
8/26/08

Today was a fabulous day! Beau and I got to the hospital expecting that Ezra would be going into surgery today. Well, Ezra did not agree with that. Around midnight last night Ezra started peeing! And he is STILL peeing! What does this mean? It means that his B.U.N has gone down a tiny bit and his Creatnine has gone down as well. This is FABULOUS news. So the doctors wanted to give him some more time before doing the Hemo Filtration. The Doctors have a good plan set up and so we will just follow that for however long we need to. It’s funny because they have all said that Ezra has a mind of his own. He will do things when he is ready to…they can’t push him. That’s our boy…STRONG! Dr. Colaizy came into the room today and one of the first things she said was “Ezra had a lot of people praying for him last night.” VERY TRUE and we are thankful to all of you for that. Ezra is not out of the woods of course but today is a day for celebration. I’ve come to notice that you really need to enjoy these good days because when the bad ones come you need to be able to remember and hold on to the good ones. Yes, I am just now figuring that out. Granted Beau and I are both still guarded because this is so UP and DOWN…but still we are extremely happy that for today Ezra is peeing.
8/27/08

And SOOOOOOO...

2008-08-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

And so we have quite the update. On 8/16/08 Ezra stopped urinating. What is wrong with that???? Well, it means he gets puffier and he is not able to rid his body of the toxins. SO...we, meaning the doctors and Beau and I decided that Peritoneal Dialysis. It is a temporary Dialysis treatment until his kidneys start kickin in and working how they are supposed to.

The day of the surgery to place the catheter the Doctors switched Ezra over to a conventional Ventilator. Meaning not as high powered as the Oscillator that he is on. The reason for this was because when it was time to take him into the O.R. it would be easier to manuever with the smaller ventilator. I'm sure there were other reasons but i am sure I forgot them. Sorry. Anyways, his surgery was set for 6 p.m. on 8/17 and Ezra was doing really great on the Conventional Ventilator so we decided we would go over the Hunter's for dinner at 3:30. Right after Beau and I left Ezra started to have a Pulmonary Hemmorage. In other words blood started to come up his Tracheal Tube (the tube that is pushing air into his lungs). They were able to get this under control but what that meant is that he was too fragile to take to the O.R.. SO the O.R. came to him.
Meanwhile at the Hunter's (totally oblivious to what is going on with our little Ezra because I left the damn cell phone in the car on accident) Tucker and Tilly were having a great time spending time with Mom and Dad and their little cousing Nik Nak and Auntie. Tucker and Tilly really are champs! For all the stress and unbalance in their lives right now they have been truly amazing. Beau and I are truly blessed to be their parents.

After about 3 1/2 hrs or so in surgery they were able to place the Catheter exactly where they wanted it. Ezra is doing well on it and we pray that he continues to do well and that we can avoid infection. They are keeping him pretty heavily sedated and comfortable right now. Just one more hurdle to overcome. We love this little guy and are so thankful for him in our lives.

Hello Again...

2008-08-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

Well, some good news and bad news today. We will start with the good news. Ezra gets his labs drawn on Monday and Thursday to see how his liver is doing. Well, yesterday they tested Ezra's PT and Platelets and his PT came back 18 and Platelets came back at 60. On Monday they were pretty much the same. On Wednesday Ezra stopped urinating and they thought maybe it was because he now has a Fungal infection. His blood pressure was pretty low as well. The Kidney Doctors came and took a look at him. They thought that maybe because of all of the Dietretics that they were giving him it just kind of pooped his kidneys out. Well Thursday they put him on Dopamine to try to get his blood pressure up. The Dopamine did raise his blood pressure and because of that he is now urinating again. FABULOUS! Also on Thursday Ezra coughed up a bit of blood. I was WORRIED...but there hasn't really been any more. SO they checked his clotting factors again just to make sure that wasn't the cause for the bleed. SO today we got the clotting factors back and his PT is now 16 PTT is 45 and Platelets are 79! YAY! At least Beau and I are happy about that. I'm sure the Doctors have to be as well. SO I think I included the bad news with this long and totally not gramatically correct paragraph. So yes, Ezra is fighting another infection but it is "treatable". So here are a few pictures of the past couple of days. I think I am going to do the next post about Tilly and Tucker because they are such champs and have been amazing through all of this.

p.s. Just a note. Ezra has not had Platlets since Saturday the 9th of August. Awesome because he used to be needing platelets like every other day. Also he has not had any FFP or Cryo for a very long time. He is also still very very swollen but as he heals and is able to fight off these infections he will start looking better.

Our Beautiful Ann

2008-08-11T14:01:00.000-07:00

I don’t really know how to put into words how it is I feel about Ann. All I can say is that just saying that I loved her is not enough. My love for her went way beyond that. I felt like not only did I have a mother in law who was amazing in every way but I also had a friend. I thought that maybe the best way to do this is to write down some of my fondest memories of Ann. So here are just a few.
* Ann loved her grandbabies. Her life revolved around them. When we would visit her in Price or she would come out to Iowa she would always insist on bathing them. She loved that one on one time with them. Those bath times usually lasted a good hour in the tub.
* When we would go to visit her in the summer time she would take the kids out into the hills to look for treasure or just to go on a nature hike. Tucker and Tilly loved to go on adventures with her.
* Ann was always thinking of others. She was so generous with her time and love and anything else she could give to help somebody out. When she was here right after Ezra was born she scoured my house. Cleaned everything and even reorganized my kitchen for me. I remember I came home one night from the hospital after being with Ezra and she was limping around. I told her to just sit down and relax. She told me..”No, I need to do this, I need to help out in any way that I can right now.”. That is how she was every minute of every day of her life.
* Ann was the best mother in law anyone could have ever asked for. Every time that we were together I felt nothing but love from her. She used to go through these home magazines with me and tell me what she thought would look good in my house or maybe what she was thinking of doing to hers. I know that may seem like a silly memory but to me I cherished those times together. I felt like we were such good friends.
* Whenever I would get my hair done and it was a different color or length she would always tell me how it looked beautiful on me even when it really didn’t. Even when my husband was standing right behind her laughing at me.
* I felt a closeness with Ann that I never thought I would have with any other woman besides my mom. There were several times where I called her mom and then quickly corrected myself. She would look at me with her beautiful big eyes and smile and say, “I don’t care if you call me mom, I like it.” I wish I would have done that more.
* Now I know this is going to be a surprise to some of you but Beau and I would some times have a bit of a disagreement in front of her and she would just stand there quietly and then when it was over and Beau left to cool down she would get this big smile again and in a very sweet and loving voice try to explain why Beau was saying what he said or doing what he was doing. It made me feel good because it made me feel like she didn’t want me upset with her baby but she also didn’t want to see me upset.
* When I was pregnant with Tucker and still working in Salt Lake Ann would come up from Price and we would go to the Olive Garden for lunch. She loved their salad and breadsticks. She would always tell me it was so “nutritious” .
* When Ann was here last she stayed at the house with us. We don’t have an extra bed but we did have a single mattress. Ann put that in the kids room between their two beds and laid with them every night. One night we came home and she was curled up in a little ball at the end of the mattress and Tucker and Tilly were all sprawled out on her mattress. I know she didn’t get one good nights sleep but I know that it didn’t matter to her. As long as she could be close to her precious babies.
Those are just a few of the many many memories that I have of my beautiful mother in law. I wish everyone could have known her because their lives surely would have been blessed if they had. I love her and I know one day I will see her again. I wish I could have given her one more big hug and told her how much I really did love her. I hope she knows that now. She will be greatly missed. I love you Ann.

Below is a copy of her Obituary.
Ann Ross "Grannie Annie" PRICE- Our beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, aunt, friend, and teacher was taken from us too soon in an unfortunate car accident on August 4, 2008. She will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved her. Ann was born on October 14, 1950 in Taos, New Mexico to Cleotilde Vigil and Amadeo Romero. She graduated from Hillcrest High School in 1968 and later earned her Associates of Science degree from the College of Eastern Utah. On September 6, 1970, she married Ronald G. Ross in Elko, Nevada, their marriage was later solemnized in the Manti LDS Temple on December 7, 1994. Ron and Ann moved to Price in 1974 and raised their family of four sons. While residing in Price she was employed for 25 years in the coal mining industry. Her family was the absolute love of her life, especially her 14 grandchildren who affectionately called her "Grannie Annie". Ann was a caring person who had a positive influence on the lives of those she touched. She never suppressed a generous thought or deed; she was a peacemaker and a woman of unique strength and character. Should each of us be able to tear out a page from Grannie Annie's Book of Life and incorporate the wisdom contained therein, we would all be a better and more loving people. Ann you are so dear, so sweet, so beautiful, so precious to us. You are truly an elect lady and we are going to miss you more than words can express. May God be abundant in his blessings upon you. Ann is survived by her loving husband, Ron Ross, Price; four sons and one step-daughter: Don (Lara) Ross, Grand Junction, CO; Ron (Julianne) Ross, Sandy, UT; Scott Ross, Denver, CO; Beau (Sarah) Ross, Coralville, IA; Kari (Reed) Smith, Springville, UT; grandchildren: Noah, Sophia, Avabelle, Lola, Eliza, Isaac, Tucker, Tilly, Ezra, Trevyn, Daryk, Danyelle, Mytchell, Mckenzy, great-granddaughter, Ryan Rae, and one more on the way. She also leaves behind four brothers and three sisters, Ben Valencia, George Gonzales, Tom and Tim Romero, Orlinda Petersen, Lillian Taylor and Irene Leyba, and many other extended family members. Funeral services Saturday, August 9, 2008, 2 p.m., Price Fifth LDS Ward, 545 E. 400 N. Family will receive friends at Mitchell Funeral Home, 233 E. Main Street in Price Friday evening from 6-8 p.m. and at the church Saturday one hour prior to the service. Interment, Cliffview Cemetery, Price. Arrangements entrusted to Mitchell Funeral Home.

We're UP and then DOOOOWN...

2008-07-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

******* WARNING: this is a lot of information ********
So the past three days have been a bit crazy. On Monday Ezra was extremely swollen...or Edemadus. His little belly was extremely swollen and they thought he may have Ascites. Come to find out he didn't have that and that is a good thing. He was and is just really swollen. SO much that his little legs wouldn't bend for a while. The Doctors upded his Lasiks to three times a day orally and gave him some Albumin. Albumin from my understanding is a protein that the liver makes and if it is low then will you get fluid build up. So Ezra started looking better the next day which was Tuesday. He wasn't as swollen and he was EXTREMELY alert. He was awake a ton and just as cute as ever. TODAY, not so good. This morning when the nurse took Ezra's temperature he had a fever of about 101. Because of that they checked his C-Reactive Protein and it was at 1.2, so that wasn't good. That meant that there was an infection. So they gave Ezra some IB Profen and he seemed to be "okay". At one point Ezra started crying and I noticed that he had blood coming from his nose and mouth. The nurses suctioned his nose and we thought that maybe it was just a little bloody nose that went down into his mouth. THOUGHT is the keyword. They decided to check all his labs again today and tested his CRP level again. His CRP came back at 2.0. That was just withinn 5 hrs that it rose. They did a chest xray and found a dark spot on his lungs and they told us it was Pnemonia. So they had to put an IV in him to get some Antibiotics going. I believe it was when they were doing the IV they noticed that he had blood coming from his mouth. Right away they moved Ezra to bay 1 of the NICU (for the really sick babies) and Inti bated our little man. Ezra was having an extremely hard time breathing and his blood gases were really bad. All I can tell you from that is that he had high levels of CO2. So Ezra is now Inti bated and also has a tube going into his stomach to suck out the blood. He is still currently bleeding in his stomach and they are still giving him transfusions of blood and trying to get the bleeding to stop by giving him Cryo, FFP and Platelets. They also took a blood culture and have found that there is a bacteria infection. Sooooo all in all Ezra is having an Extremely Hard day today. No pictures today but soon I will post more.

NEVERending Roller Coaster...

2008-07-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

So a friend of mine was saying how she wanted to write a book about the different emotions you go through and what to expect when you have a child in the NICU. Her son was born at 24 weeks and was here for about 3 months (maybe more). I really hope she does it one day. AND I would love to help her. Honestly this really is like riding a Roller Coaster in the dark.
On Monday, Dr. Whittington came and gave Beau and I a big boost of hope. I'm sure most of you have read my husbands lovely post explaining everything. Anyways, Yesterday they decided to check Ezra's labs to see how he was doing. I don't remember if Beau wrote that they took him completely off the Fresh Frozen Plasma. Well, yesterday the labs were NOTgood. His clotting factors were very very bad. Not only were his numbers bad but the poor little guy was fussier than I have ever seen him. He was so uncomfortable and just upset. Come to find out they think maybe he might have reflux. SERIOUSLY could anything else be thrown at our little man. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! So we have bad lab numbers and then reflux...AND THEN...drum roll please...we get the Liver Doctors that come and evaluate him. I know they are just doing their job and trying to help make him better but holy HELLATION! So they did some reflex thing and said that they think he has the very EARLY signs of Encephalopathy...THINK is the key word. Meaning they think that his brain is being affected a TINY bit by all of this. SOOOO they wanted to check his Ammonia levels today. ****This just in**** Ammonia levels are okay. They are high but not scary high. I was also just told that Denise and Becky the two NNP's...okay I know Becky is a NNP but I don't know about Denise. Anyways they are going to start checking Ezra's reflexes every morning. Also Dr. Whidness (s/p) called Dr. Whittington last night, I'm guessing to talk about the lab numbers. Dr. Whittington said Ezra was still okay and that we didn't need to be talking about a transplant right now. WHEW!

I wanted to post a picture of Dr. Bell because he is and always will be an important part of our lives now. Beau and I feel really blessed that Dr. Bell was his Doctor at that time this all went down. I think Dr. Bell is one of those doctors that you pray for when going through hard times like these. I feel like he isn't just treating a patient but a family. I don't know if that makes sense. Dr. Bell got Dr. Whittington involved and still stays very much involved in what is going on with Ezra. To both of us that just really says alot about a man. He calls on his vacations for updates and checks Ezra's labs when he can. I guess what I am saying is that Beau and I are really impressed with this man. Not that people are wanting or needing our approval and what not. Anyways, Dr. Bell is now our friend whether he wants to be or not. He doesn't have a choice. HAHA

Ezra has graduated from a warmer bed to a crib. He also gets to wear CLOTHES! YAY! I think he is so much more comfortable in his crib than he was the warmer bed. Anyways the updates will keep coming so stay tuned.

P.S. Ezra is really swollen in the picture and that is partly due to the fact that he received a Platelet and Blood Transfusion as well as some Cryo. So LOTS of fluids.

Special Delivery from Chicago

2008-07-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Sarah has asked me to update her blog with all that took place yesterday with Dr. Whitington. First and foremost, it is such an honor to even be allowed into Sarah's sacred blog and I would just like to thank her for this wonderful opportunity. Despite my immense gratitude for this opportunity, I still cannot deny the fact that Sarah's breath smells like she just ate a poop sandwich. I am starting to think that those are her favorite things to eat. On to Ezra....

Yesterday was a very good day for our family and for little Ezra. Sarah and I arrived at the hospital at about 7:45 a.m. for an 8:00 a.m. meeting with Dr. Peter Whitington. We were both a little anxious for the meeting but thankful that he was willing to come and give his input on Ezra. When we arrived we were surprised to already find him along with several other doctors in Ezra's room. He immediately introduced himself and his first words to us were about how impressed he was with Ezra's physical appearance. He stated that Ezra appeared better physically than most other babies with NH that he has treated. So, this offered us some immediate comfort for the remainder of the meeting. He went on to say that the reason he decided to come to Iowa was: 1) to keep his word and, 2) to further evaluate Ezra and see what they would do differently in Chicago versus Iowa and what they would really be up against if he were to go there. He stated confidently that Ezra was perfectly fine here in Iowa and that there appeared to be no need to transport him to Chicago. He said that Ezra, at this moment is nowhere near needing a liver transplant and that he probably will not need one (let's hope). He told us that he has treated a number of infants successfully with far worse lab numbers and that were much sicker than Ezra without the need for transplantation. Comparing his numbers again to other infants that he has managed, Ezra's numbers were "above average". He went on to tell us that he felt Ezra's liver was in the healing stages for a few reasons. The first being his glucose levels. When Ezra was born he was hypoglycemic. He was given glucose to address this concern and his lab numbers showed a positive response to this. To him, that showed him that some of his liver was functioning. Also, since his numbers have been stable and have not worsened, he felt that that was also another sign that his little liver was recovering. It will just take time for him to fully recover, but he felt that Ezra would recover and regain full function with his liver. He even went as far as saying that he would like for us, along with Ezra, to visit him in Chicago in September so Sarah can participate in some of the on-going research that he is conducting. He recommended that the staff here not conduct lab work two times a day as they have been doing, but cut back to 2 times a week. Ezra's coagulation numbers along with his bilirubin levels are still high, but Dr. Whitington told us that these are the last things to improve with these infants. I asked him how long he thought this could take and he said that he has seen infants improve in a few weeks, with the longest being 3 months. So, again we will be here for awhile and that is OK. Just as long as Ezra gets better. By no means are we out of the woods but Dr. Whittington gave us a few more rays of hope. Sarah and I felt very blessed to have Dr. Whitington come to Iowa just for our little son. Throughout this process we have expressed to each other multiple times that we haven't felt alone. The Lord's hand has been made evident during this time and we are so grateful for that. We are so grateful also for the doctors and staff that have taken care of him (and for the one reading this blog, you know who you are). They have all been great. Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers. It has been so wonderful to see and feel your love.

Still going Strong...

2008-07-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

So everything is pretty much the same here. Ezra's labs keep going up and down. It really is a never ending roller coaster. They tell us that his labs will go up and down so to not get too hopeful when they are going the way we want. To be honest that is the hardest thing. Beau and I catch ourselves always getting hopeful and then socked in the gut again. It is totally our fault but anyways. Beau and I still believe that Ezra will be okay. It is going to be a long haul but he'll be okay. Dr. Whittington is coming tomorrow and both Beau and I are extremely anxious to hear what he has to say. Hmm...Anxious and yet afraid at the same time.
Everyday I pray for faith. I pray that my faith will stay strong even though the unknown is so scary right now. I know that I'm jumping all around in this post but I'm just trying to get my thoughts down for the day. Ezra has been given a bit of morphine the past two nights because of how uncomfortable he is. They have his high flow on 6liters. Uhh..High Flow has something to do with the oxygen he is on. Sorry that is all I know. Anyways, 6 Liters is the highest it will go, and so all day and night he is getting all this air in his little belly. Now imagine how it feels when you have gas pains. Imagine that for a tinsy little guy who has to deal with it all day. Beau and I were a bit frustrated yesterday because it is so hard to see your child uncomfortable or in pain and not be able to console them or do anything but try to shove a binky in his mouth. Whew okay I'm done rambling but anyways we will keep updating.

Visitors...

2008-07-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ezra has had some wonderful visits from his grandparents and brother and sister. Anne was in town to help us out right after Ezra was born and so of course she was able to come and visit him in the hospital. Right after her my mom came out and then my dad came out for the weekend. We are so thankful for all the help we have been receiving during this time.

Tucker and Tilly LOVE to visit their "Baby Ezra" in the hospital. Tucker is always asking if he can pet Ezra. So cute. Tilly wants to visit all the other babies here in the hospital as well. The kids are always praying for Ezra that he will get better and come home soon. I like how excited they get when they do get to come and visit their brother. Seeing Ezra has made it more real for Tucker and Tilly, so I think they are handling mommy and daddy being away so much a little bit better. Granted it is still hard on them but not AS much.

Beau has been staying the night here with Ezra so that the little guy knows that we are always here. I don't really know how much sleep Beau gets at the hospital but he doesn't care. Beau, would rather go with out sleep then have Ezra be alone. Thank you Beau for being such an amazing father.
p.s. I would stay but Beau insists I go home to "recover". I think he just likes his special bonding time with Ezra. Which is fine...I'm okay with that.

What a day...

2008-07-17T13:59:00.001-07:00

Well today Ezra greeted both Beau and I by being wide awake. Today the Doctors let Beau know that they were starting Ezra on the Fresh Frozen Plasma again but instead of giving him 4 cc's an hour it would be 2 cc's an hour. They gave him another dose of the IVIG lastnight as well. Dr. Seger (who is the doctor for Ezra right now) also told us that Dr. Whittington would be here Sunday night and would like to meet with me and Beau Monday morning. I am so anxious to hear what he has to say to us about this. The abdominal ultrasound came back and they told us that it all looks fine. I believe they were checking the blood flow and what not to the liver.
Lastnight before they gave Ezra the IVIG they had to put another IV in little Ezra's hand and it now looks like he has a boxing glove on. Poor little guy. Oh yes they also gave Ezra another dose of Lasiks today. Lasiks are a dieretic to help him get rid of some of the fluid that is built up in his body. I'm going to have to say that through all of this Ezra has been quite the little champ. He's a tuff little man that is for sure. The only thing that really bothers Ezra besides being hungry is his gas. Because of the oxygen he is on he gets so much air built up in his little tummy and it hurts our poor little man.
I have a ton of pictures to post so here are just a few from today and I am trying to get all the other ones organized.

Update on Ezra

2008-07-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

Well, we have absolutely no idea really what is going on now with Dr. Whittington. He may or may not come out here. Also they are taking Ezra off of the Fresh Frozen Plasma today to see how his Coagulation numbers are with out recvg the FFP. In case most of you don't know, N.H. causes problems with the blood clotting. So Ezra's blood isn't clotting how it should so they are constantly monitoring him for bleeds. They monitor him by doing daily ultrasounds on his brain and today they are going to do an X-Ray and an Ultrasound of his Liver. SOOOOO....siiiiiiiigh. Okay we got Ezra's lab numbers today and they looked a bit better, so we are hoping that when they take him off of the FFP they don't sky rocket or decline when they aren't supposed to. I know this isn't making sense to most of you but I'm trying my best to write out what is going on in my head right now.
Once again we just want to thank everyone for their prayers. I do believe in the power of prayer and I am so thankful that so many have been said in our little mans behalf.

p.s. I will put alot of new pictures on here tonight. I have Beau's computer so I can't upload them on here.

Ezra Cotton Ross

2008-07-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ezra was born on June 30th 2008 at 11:11 am. He is a beautiful baby boy. Ezra was born with a very rare condition called Neonatal Hemachromatosis. It is a condition in which the mothers body produces antibodies that attack the baby's liver. I know there are alot more specifics that go along with this but it really is too much for me to write out. I will have Beau do a post about it and explain it better. Beau and I feel very blessed to be here in Iowa right now. Ezra has been receiving some of the best care possible here. Dr. Bell has been Ezra's doctor and we just love him. He is so involved in Ezra and what is going on with him. Another reason Beau and I feel so blessed to be here is that Dr. Whittington who specializes in N.H. is located in Chicago and is working closely with the team here regarding Ezra's care. I was actually just notified by Dr. Bell that they were able to get Dr. Whittington to come here and evaluate Ezra. If needs be we will transfer Ezra to Chicago to be under the care of Dr. Whittington and his team. We will see what happens and keep updating as we go along.

Floods...more floods...and Summer Fun.

2008-06-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well we are alive here in Iowa. AND we have a new camera so we have a TON of pictures this post. Alot has happened that I haven't blogged about so if sometime down the road I throw something random out there just go with it.
First here are some pictures of the flood that Beau and I took. This is about 3 miles from our home.
I have a TON of spelling errors in this post because I couldn't really see the words I was typing so just ignore it because I'm not going to go through and fix it.
{CLICK on picture to Enlarge}

So sad to see all of these buisnesses and homes destroyed. A bit scary as well. This is the first time I have ever really been in a flood. It sure is scary what mother nature can throw at you within a blink of an eye.
Now onto some more positive pictures. SUMMER FUN! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO! We love warm weather. I keep trying to really drive that point home to Beau. WARM WEATHER....HAPPY WIFE AND MOM. hahaha. Anyways enjoy the pictures!
These pictures were taken outside of the Iowa City Library. The kids and I played outside while Beau did "school stuff".

Pool time! Need I say more.

Now for the BEST part...

p.s. the grey van in the back is the newest addition to our family. HAHAHA

Sleeping Babies...

2008-06-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ohhh how I love being a mom. I just went upstairs and couldn't resist holding my two babies while they slept. What precious gifts we are given. So delicate and fragile in so many different ways. My little Tucker is getting so big but to hold him while he sleeps reminds me of how small he really still is and I just need to cherish these times with him now before he gets to be alot bigger and ALOT more independent. Little Sissy...what a doll. While I was holding her I whispered that I loved her. She smiled in her sleep and said, "I love you too.". It melted my heart. I am so grateful that I was blessed with such beautiful, sweet spirits. The lord really must trust me to give me such valuable little spirits.
As I was going upstairs I saw that Tucker and Tilly had gotten into some baskets that had blankets and what not for a crib and the baby. They had thrown it all over the place. All I could do was smile. Smile because I would rather that they were here with me to do that instead of gone or not here at all. Goodness how I love those two.
Well, I know that this post was a little out of the blue but I want to remember these moments. Sorry no pictures my camera is broken and I am shopping around for a new one. Goodnight.

Mt. Timpanogos Temple May 8, 2003

2008-06-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

So it was our Anniversary on May 8th. Yes I know I that I am a month late but I am really behind on a ton of stuff. Sorry. Annnnd to be honest we didn't do a thing. BUT that's okay we'll have a good one next year. I did look through my wedding photos though, and can I just tell you how I love to look back and remember that day and all the excitement! Love it.
Beau and I were married May 8th 2003. It really doesn't seem that long ago. Probably because it really wasn't...I mean it has only been 5 years. hehe. Anyways I just wanted to post a few photos of the wedding day and my favorite of the man I fell in love with.

Wow....what a stud huh? OW BABY!

I loved my flowers by the way. Soft pink roses. Soooo pretty.

Such a fun and romantic day! Ahhh the memories!

Ohhhh Sissy...

2008-05-27T19:48:00.001-07:00

Instead of writing more stories about Tilly I am going to post some fun facts about her that we LOOVE and just really describe this little Angel. Once again the pictures don't really go with the fun facts but I wanted pictures. I also know this is all random and doesn't really tie together but it isn't meant to be perfect. It is just meant for memories.
- This girl is ALWAYS smiling. Tilly was just sick with a high fever a couple of days ago and that didn't stop her from smiling. This is one happy little girl.
- Tilly is a very good little eater...as long as it is what she likes. She loves cold cereal (Cookie Crisp, Barbie cereal etc...), chicken nuggets, french fries, cake, apples and peanut butter, cheese crackers (Cheez-it), bananas, applesauce and her daddy's homemade Banana Pancakes. Those are just some of her favs. If only I could get her to eat veggies more.

- Tilly loves Cinderella. She loves to dress up in her "Cinderella cloths", and have me put makeup on her like Cinderella. I mean this is one true little princess here. She now has special Cinderella bedding that she loves. She likes to show everyone that comes over her Cinderella bed.
- Tilly is a momma's girl. I love that, I won't lie. It makes me feel good when she wants me to sleep with her (I don't actually sleep with her. I sing songs) or stay with me instead of going with Daddy and Tucker. It makes me feel special. I pray that we will always be that way.

- What a great sister Tilly is to her brother Tucker. Always willing to play superheroes with a twist of playing house at the same time. Always there to defend Tucker if he is getting a bit of diciplining. What can I say the girl loves her brother.

- One day Tilly will be on American Idol. HAHA..okay I doubt it will be around at that time...but Tilly loves to sing. Sometimes she will just sit on the stairs singing "We are the champions...of the world (imagine that last part really high pitched.)"
- Tilly is a little Ham. She loves the camera. She can put on the best smile and pose. Tilly also loves the attention she gets from my good friend Kelly's husband Brett and Brad (Beau's friend). She won't leave them alone when they are around. She gets right in their faces and smiles and pokes and giggles. I am going to have my hands full when she gets older. hehe

Daddy's Little Girl...

2008-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am soooo behind w/ posting. I feel HORRIBLE. Poor little Sissy. It just seems like life got busy all of the sudden. It really didn't, but it feels that way. Anyways, I wanted this post of Tilly to be from Beau's memories. I will try to put pictures to go along with the memories.
Some of Beau's first memories of Tilly are when we found out that we were pregnant again. Beau, was sooo happy. Right away he was hoping for a little girl. A daddy's girl. Well, Beau got what he wanted that's for sure. The night of her arrival Beau remembers how hard it was for me to push her out in contrast with how it was with Tucker. To Beau all that went to show was that it was an early sign of how stubborn and independent she was going to be. Things were going to be done on her terms. When Tilly came out all Beau could think of was how beautiful his little girl was.
Beau, was able to stay the night with me in the hospital after she was born and all he remembers is crying. Not from me. All the crying was coming from Tilly. He said that he remembers that she never stopped. Yes, we were so lucky to have such a helpful nurse right after my delivery that kept on bringing Tilly into the room insisting that I feed her. REAL HELPFUL!

One of the days that Beau was with me at the hospital Dr. Hunter and Lorene were there visiting and Beau was trying to change Tilly's diaper. Beau remembers really not knowing what he was doing and then Dr. Hunter asking him "do you even know what you are doing?" and then Lorene saying "At least he is trying to help. That is more than you ever did." . TOO FUNNY!
Another fabulous memory of Beau's was the first night home Tilly was in her bassinet and HOLY COW she was farting up a storm. These weren't tiny baby toots. These sounded like they came from a grown man. All we could do was laugh at all the grunting and farting that this little angel produced.

When Tilly was 3 months old both Beau and I decided to get her ears pierced. Beau was more hesitant than I was because he felt as though we were taking a tiny piece of innocene away from her by having it done. When we were at the mall getting it done we were thrown so many dirty looks and people looking at us like we were the cruelest parents. Obviously not a very fun memory of Beau's.

The older Tilly has gotten the funnier her bed head has gotten. Beau, thinks that she has the most amazing bed head in the world. She has such crazy hair in the morning all you can do is laugh. Although, she is getting to the point where she does not like it if you are laughing at her hair. Beau loves to wake Tilly up in the mornings or from naps because she will always wake up with a smile and greet you like she hasn't seen you in a week.

Tilly's first song that she could sing was the Batman theme song. She loves her dolls and frills but she also loves her TMNT, Spiderman, Superman and Batman. Hence the reason why she chose to be Batgirl for Halloween.
It's hard for Beau to get after Tilly because he says that she gets the same "dramatic" sad face that I get when I am sad. (WHATEVER doesn't seem to work when I do it. j/k) When Beau, does get after Tilly or asks her to do something she will smile so sweetly and tell him no...over and over and over again. And then she will look at him and put her head to the side and smile at him. It really is pretty funny to watch. Can't wait until she is a teenager.

The last thing Beau thought of was how she is so EXTREMELY loyal to her family and mainly her brother. Tilly tries to protect Tucker from anything and anyone if she feels like he is being hurt. Tilly loves and looks up to her big brother. They are best friends.

Rebecca Tilly Ross...

2008-05-07T19:23:00.001-07:00

I love this picture of her. So cute.

Poor little Sissy is still swollen from the delivery. What a little precious thing.

Tilly was conceived when Tucker was 8 months old. What a FUN suprise. Whoever out there thinks that you can't get prego because you are breastfeeding or you haven't welcomed your monthly visitor back yet is SOOOO completely wrong.
I came up with Tilly's name a long time before she existed. Rebecca is the name of my sweet twin that I love so much. And Tilly is the name of a book that I've read a couple of times since I was 13 years old.
When I was pregnant with Tilly it was a totally and completely different experience than when I was pregnant with Tucker. With Tilly I was a WITCH! I am going to have to say that part of that was due to the fact that I was 7 months pregnant when I moved to Iowa and I didn't know anyone. I was always tired and just worn out. Not such fun times with that pregnancy. BUT I was still excited for my little sis.
I started having contractions with Tilly at about 5:30 in the morning and then went in to Dr. Hunter at 10 to get my membranes stripped. I didn't know that I was in labor I thought I was just sick because I couldn't stop throwing up. Oh yes my mom and dad came out to be with me and Beau for the delivery but the day she came my dad had to leave to go back to work. Well, anyways through out the day my contractions were hitting hard. That didn't stop me, my mom and Tucker from going out and shopping. We went to Sam's Club and Super Target...the whole time throwing up along the roadside or parking lot. At Sam's I sat in one of those motorized chairs. Well Beau, came home from school to see that I was in labor and was suprised. He thought that for sure I would have called him. Well, I'm alot tuffer (is that a word) than I appear. hehe.

I don't remember what time we ending up going to the hospital but I do remember that i was exhausted. I didn't have anything in my stomach and I had been up since 5:30. So, everytime I contracted I cried. I just broke down and started crying...I couldn't do it anymore. Finally we situated in the hospital and My fabulous doc finally got his rear there and it was time to push. Well...I pushed and pushed and pushed. Okay that is how it felt to me. It felt like she was stuck. HAHAHA...I was like HELLO COME OUT ALREADY! I told Dr. Hunter that I was done and I couldn't push anymore....uh yeah no sympathy. hehe. Finally my little or ummm..."healthy" princess came out. When they layed her on my chest I remember thinking "uhhh she is ENORMOUS.". Remember that Tucker was just a bag of bones. Not Sissy. She was 8 lbs 2 oz. I like to say that is because of all the corn I ate when I moved here. Tilly had alot of dark hair and was just as precious as could be. I had a hard time really getting into it though after she was born because I was seriously just so exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open.

What a little princess I had. I was ecstatic the next day. I loved holding her and just staring at her beautiful little face. I loved watching Beau hold her and just stare at her. There is nothing like watching your husband with the new baby. The soft look in their face and the love that you can see in their eyes is something that I will never forget.
My little Tucker was interested in his new little sister for a little bit, but that soon passed until she got older and became his best friend. He was a good big brother to her though. Never really TOO rough..and was always ready to give her a kiss if she was crying.

I never said I looked good after giving birth. Unlike some of you I actually do look like Hell after giving birth. haha. All pale and swollen and tired and the hair...oh please.

Tucker was still so little when I had her. He was definetley curious about her.

SLACKIN...

2008-05-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

Okay so I haven't posted in a while. Can I blame it on the pregnancy? hehe I'M TOO TIRED! Okay no I'm not, I'm just a lazy fat bum. I have already decided that I will begin posting again tomorrow night about Tilly.
I just need to start doing the same thing that I tell Tucker and Tilly to do when they don't want to do something or they are frustrated...say out loud "I think I can, I think I can." it seems to work for them. HAHAHAHA

A boy of many talents...

2008-04-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

Oh goodness! Beau has a four day weekend so we went to Omaha on Friday and came home late Sat. and I am just now getting to posting about Tuck again.
My little Tucker has so many neat little talents but one of my favorites is his ability to memorize songs he likes or books. Now if you asked Beau what his favorite talent was that he thinks Tucker has it would be how he can swing a bat. I must say I am pretty proud of that as well....he gets it from his momma. hehe.
So I've had The Fray playing in the car for a while now and I really like song #2. It was the theme song to Grey's Anatomy for a while there. I can't remember the name of it but that's not the point. The point is that Tucker ALWAYS has me play that song over and over and over. One day while driving home from dropping Beau off at school last week he said "Mom, will you turn my favorite song on...the one that says how to save a life.". I was pretty amazed he knew that line but what was even more amazing is when I turned it to the song...my little man sang right along with it...EVERY WORD! Seriously amazing. Tucker has always loved to listen to music. He really likes slower songs like The Fray "How to Save a Life". One of Tucker's other favorite songs is by Andrea Bocelli (I don't know if I spelled that right). He is an opera singer and I love to listen to Opera so I have a CD of him. Tucker has a favorite song on that as well. He usually likes to listen to it when he is tired. Now the song is in some other language but Tucker will do his best to sing the words (the way they sound to him). I love to watch him sing, he is in his own little world while he is doing it and he looks so at ease and calm. Tucker has liked music since he was a tiny little guy though. He started dancing to it at a really young age....granted it was more of a head bobbing thing but he was feeling the beat. OHHHHHHHH so many memories....I wish I could write all of them down but I need to pace myself. Anyways, like I said my favorite of MANY talents that my son has. I know I'm bragging but I can...he's my boy.
Now, I do realize that my pictures I post do not really go along with the memories. In fact most of them don't at all but I am doing the best I can. HAHA

I believe this picture was of Tucker at his 3rd birthday. We were able to celebrate with family that lived here in Iowa at the time. Fun Times for my little man.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Tucker. This is how I still think of my little guy. Just my cute little blonde bug.

And of course this is the classic Tucker smile! What a happy little boy. He loves to get his picture taken and then look at it right after. He cracks me up!

My little buddy...

2008-04-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

When Tucker was born right away I started taking naps and to this day I have not stopped. Yep LAAAAAAAZZZZZY! The thing is that I started taking them with my little man and still do. I love my memories of falling asleep in the rocking chair with Tucker and waking up with him. Or falling asleep in bed and waking up with two big eyeballs staring right into my face. No...not Beau's...they were Tucker's. hehe.

When we moved here to Iowa Tucker had to start sleeping in a big boy bed. For the first few months it was okay because I would lay with him until he fell asleep. Sometimes it would take 2 hrs for him to fall asleep. I don't know about all of you but I need my alone time at night. So I started trying to leave before he was asleep. What an ordeal. The poor little guy wouldn't stay in bed and he was always crying. Both Beau and I didn't have a clue as to what we were supposed to do. We needed Tucker to get into the habit of going to bed alone. SO oneday I spoke with some neighbors and they gave me a few ideas. One of the ideas I tried was putting a night light in the room and shutting the door and just sitting there until he went to sleep. Well that is what I did and it BROKE my heart! I hated it. He would cry and stick his hand under the door. I HATED HATED HATED HATED HATED IT! One night he fell asleep with his hand underneath the door...and I know I'm smiling in the picture but it broke my heart to see it. Finally after a week he got used to it and would just fall asleep in bed. NOW...he stays up until about 12 every night just reading or exploring in mom and dads room and sometimes getting into things he shouldn't. Oh yes and he has to have ALLL of the lights on upstairs. He is alot like me in that way. I can't go to sleep alone in the dark. If Beau isn't with me then I make Tucker and Tilly sleep with me and if they are already asleep and I'm at my mom's then I make my mom sleep with me. So I totally understand Tucker's fear of the dark.

There is a not so fabulous memory that I have that didn't happen that long ago actually. I believe it was around 2 in the morning and Beau and I woke up to a terrifying scream. It wasn't just one scream...it was over and over and over. I ran into his room and foud him sitting in bed with his eyes as big as ever and a terrified look on his face. He was so afraid of something and I couldn't do anything. I went up to him and of course like any parent I tried to make him see that it was me. He just sat there crying and screaming...and did I mention shaking like a leaf. I took him in my arms and ran downstairs with him turning all the lights on. I was sitting on the couch trying to calm him down and Beau started to walk down the stairs. Tucker saw this and his eyes got big again and he was hysterical! His grip on my arms was tighter than it has ever been and his little skinny body was shaking so much. The closer Beau got the louder and more hysterical he got. Obviously my son was having a Night Terror. Beau tried to give him a blessing to calm him. My poor little baby I was on the verge of tears because he was in such terrified state and I couldn't help. All of the sudden a thought or a prompting came to me to sing "I Am A Child of God". Beau and I sing that song and "I Have a Family Here on Earth" to the kids every night. I thought how silly but I did it anyway. The moment I started to sing the song Tucker stopped crying. His eyes were still on Beau but he started to calm down. He stopped shaking and started to go back to sleep. We finally after about a half hour got him to sleep again. He woke up two more times that night crying but the moment we started to sing he went back to sleep. I sure do love this little guy! He is so precious to me and Beau.

Beau's first memories of Tuck...

2008-04-22T18:28:00.000-07:00

For this entry I thought it would be a fun thing to have Beau list all his first memories of Tucker for me. So here are a few.

The very first memory Beau has of Tucker is when he found out I was pregnant with the little guy. Beau was excited but very scared at the same time. He felt the pressures of having a child and needing to provide for him and his wife while working a parttime job and applyig for dental school. He was thinking about the responsibilities that were now on his shoulders.
About a week or two before Tucker was ever born Beau set up the car seat in our car and would drive around with it. One morning he had the early shift at the Dentists office that he worked at. He said that he remembers driving to work just thinking about his little boy and the excitement and joy he was feeling about his pending arrival. He stopped the car in front of the office and pondered about his future son and started to cry. He started to think about Tucker and about his life and becoming a strong and faithful missionary.

Another one of his first memories was bringing Tucker and mommy home from the hospital. All I can say is WHAT A NIGHTMARE! haha. Beau was so nervous to be driving with a brand new baby in the car that he took the wrong on ramp and then the wrong exit to get home. Normally, that would be okay but since I was hurting so bad from the dang epesiotomy it was a nightmare.
The first night home with Tucker was a breeze. Then there was the second night. Beau was frustrated because his poor pathetic wife was sitting there bawling at 2 or 3 in the morning because she thought that her new baby didn't like her because he wouldn't stop screaming. We tried for HOURS to get him to calm down but he was so upset that we both became extremely upset. Luckily the mother in law (Anna Olsen) was there and she came upstairs and took the little guy until he fell asleep. THANK YOU!
One memory that brought a big smile to Beau's face was when he remembered when Tucker started laughing. What a contagious laugh he had. It wasn't a normal baby laugh...it was a full on giggle. Tucker laughed and still does at everything. This is one happy little boy. Whenever Beau would come home from work/school one of the first things he would do is make Tucker laugh. Tucker would laugh so hard he would turn bright red in the face. For such a little guy it was the funniest thing to watch.

This was one of Beau's favorite outfits to put him in when he was younger. He looked like a little Newsie.

Those are just a few of the memories Beau has of Tucker at the very begining.

p.s. I know that this is really choppy and horrible grammar but I'm not an English whiz..in fact I've always hated English.

Tucker Isaiah Ross...

2008-04-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

So I am going to do a little "project" if you will. I have decided for each day of this week I am going to TRY to post a story or memory of Tucker growing up. So this week is going to be dedicated to my little man. Then next week will be Tilly and then Beau and...uhhh that's it.

My little man was conceived 3 months after Beau and I had been married. I was ECSTATIC! Beau...well very happy but nervous as heck. Being pregnant with Tucker was such a fun new experience for me and Beau. I will admit I was EXTREMELY emotional while carrying him. I didn't really get grouchy...more like I cried ALLLLLL the time about anything and everything...even made up scenarios! I was very fearful for some reason. Not of having a baby...but of raising a baby in this world. I would have dreams that I had a shield and a sword and my baby was behind me and I had to protect him from all the evil things out in the world...it seemed like the evil monsters or people were always fighting me harder and harder to get to my baby. I know this sounds soooooooo crazy. But they are my memories that I want Tucker to have someday. I had that dream soooooo many times. So anyways, my pregnancy with Tucker was a new and fun experience!

On June 1st I went to a doctors appointment and he told me I probably wouldn't deliver for another week. I was sooo bummed I wanted to see my little guy. Well, to my suprise on June 2nd at 2:30 in the morning I woke up w/ cramps. I felt like I had diahreha. So of course I went to the bathroom and then back to bed. Maybe a half hour later I woke up again with the same thing. Went to the bathroom and well not to be gross there was blood. haha. So of course I had no idea what that was from so it kind of freaked me out. I cleaned up and went back to bed. I noticed as I was laying there that all the sudden the cramps or contractions started coming faster. I layed there wondering what to do for the first little while and somehow I was able to kind of sleep through it until 5:30. I woke up not able to handle it anymore and tried to wake Beau. "Beau......... Beau......... BEAU!" uhhh yeah my husband didn't move but just responded w/ "huh?" NIIICE! Finally he woke up and we started timing and at 7:30 we went to the hospital. I pushed 3 times and that slippery little guy came right on out. He was so tiny and precious. Tucker was nothing but a bag of bones. He was so skinny. I remember his BIG eyes (obviously inherited from his father). Tucker was 6lbs 15 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. He had an adorable little cry.
I couldn't sleep really while I was in the hospital because I wanted to hold him the entire time. I hated it when the nurses would come to take him away. I remember I would get so anxious when the nurses would take him and then not bring him back when I would ask them to. Seriously i was always pushing the button telling them to bring him to me. Yes I was always worried somebody was trying to steal my baby because he was the cutest ever. And then I saw the pictures from the hospital....hmmm...all I can say is that he was ADORABLE to me and Beau and that is what counts.
So sorry if that was lengthy but I thought I would make the first post about Tucker's entry into this world.

Now this is talent...

2008-04-17T06:40:00.001-07:00

Hearing talent like this and a voice like this brings tears to my eyes. It really is so beautiful. I LOVE IT! Just thought I'd share if you haven't heard it already.

This... That...and the Other...

2008-04-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

So we haven't really been up to much lately. Playing outside whenever it is nice enough. Visiting the library ALOOOT! Checking out movies for our rainy days inside...spending money we don't have. So fun!

So we checked out this movie Dinosaur from the Library and Tucker can't seem to get enough of it. HE LOVES the dinosaurs, every time he watches it he acts like it is the first time he has seen it. When T-Rex comes on he covers his eyes until that part is over. I think he is starting to toughin up a bit though because now he will watch it w/ a really scared look on his face.

Tilly got a new pair of Crocs and I LOVE THEM. They are so freakin cute! I wanted to get some brown ones for her BUT she had a meltdown because she wanted the pink "cotton candy" ones. I was a little bummed at first but then I realized that it doesn't really matter. Let the little princess have whatever color she wants..ya know.

Beau is busy busy as usual but like always still has plenty of time and energy to tackle with Tucker and Tilly. Lastnight he was tackling w/ them and Tilly had put a towel over his head so he couldn't see. So I'm sitting there on the couch watching this and then I see Tucker come running from the other side of the room with his fist out like Superman. In my head I'm thinking that my son is going to stop before allowing his fist to meet Beau's face. Uhhhh yeah not happening! It was soooo funny...Beau just sat there unsuspecting with a towel over his head and Tucker totally socks him right in the eye. OH HOW I WISH I had a camera. Too funny! I love and am lucky to have such a devoted husband and father!

Lastly I am now 6 months...actually I am 25 weeks but still pretty much 6 months. And man am I starting to feel it...and look it. BUT ya know I am so excited to meet Ezra Cotton Ross that I couldn't careless. Okay well maybe I don't care most of the time...there are times when I see my never ending changing body and it's hard..but oh well huh. Just so you all know Beau and I always name our kids way before they come out. Just something we have always done. I think it makes it so much more real to us. I am also craving (once again) SMORES! I looooooove them. So delicious...I usually have one...or two everyday. But I figure I can..I'm pregnant. hahaha. So that's about it...that's all that this little fam has been up to!

Meet the FLUFFMEISTER...

2008-04-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

Tilly has some pretty amazing hair. She has these tight little ringlets and when I brush them out because I don't have enough time to pick through the snaggles she becomes.........FLUFFY the Fluffmeister. Tucker came up with that. Everytime I take her hair out at night or I brush her hair Tucker says "Mom guess who came out to play.....it's Fluffy the Fluffmeister." He then proceeds to laugh hysterically. Meanwhile Sissy thinks it's pretty funny too although I don't know if she really gets that we are all laughing at her amazing hair.

Since it is FINALLY starting to feel like spring we have been having a great time getting all of our wiggles out by going outside. WE LOVE to be outside. I especially love that the kids can run and have fun and then by the end of the day they are ready for bed. LOVE IT! So Beau went and got Tucker the Better Batter Baseball toy and they love to play it together. Honestly it is one of the cutest things to watch Tucker hit the ball and then run around the makeshift bases that Beau has set up. Tilly is Tucker's ever so loyal cheerleader. She will sit on the sidelines and cheer her favorite little guy on. When she isn't cheering she is trying to ride a bike or climbing on top of things that she shouldn't or she is just off in her own little world.

And Finally we are looking into buying a Hot Rod! Yes that is right we are going to purchase a minivan. I am ecstatic! Honestly I can't wait to have more space. One thing is for sure though...once that minivan is purchased there will be no more getting into the car with sweats on or no makeup. (Igot some tips from a sweet sister in law that drives one of the hot rods herself) I have got to look my best when driving that mothership around.
So quick story that I think is funny. We were looking at this minivan the other day and it had power doors and a power hatch. So I went and looked at the car and then went and sat w/ the kids while Beau looked. I could see Beau the entire time he was looking at the car because we were parked right in front of the dealership. And all dealerships are the same. HUGE glass windows all around so they can go and prey on some poor couple has just pulled up. So I'm sitting in the car w/ the kids and then I realize I have the keys with all the buttons to open and close the doors. So Tucker and I started closing the side doors to the minivan everytime Beau went to get in to look. At first he thought it was funny....but then he started to give me "the look". So then he moves to the back of the car and I open the hatch door....it was so funny he just stood there and stared at the minivan. I guess he was trying to show me I wasn't funny. Tucker and Tilly sure thought I was. Well then I thought I'd try out the panic button. HAHAHAHAHAHA....The minivan's lights start going bezerk and it starts honking like crazy. Beau gives me this ticked off look because he is HUMILIATED! I was busting up! Well, then the car dealer comes out to tell us we can take it for a drive so we all get situated...and the car won't start...yep that's right I wore out the batteries by playing w/ the doors. Beau looks over at me and says "You are such a dork". Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the joys of looking for a minivan.
So I know this story is probably one of those "HAD TO BE THERE" stories but i loved it.

The Joys of Spring...

2008-03-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

This is a picture overload but I haven't posted for a while so I have to catch up. First of all for Spring Break we were supposed to go to Chicago and go to the Shedd Aquarium. We had it allllll planned out...we were so excited. WELL, of course we didn't get to go because Chicago was supposed to get up to 9 inches of snow. Beau and I didn't really want to deal with that over our Spring Break so our little trip was canceled.
To be honest we had such a fun time just being together as a family even though we didn't get to go. Instead we went to Des Moines and ate at the Cheesecake Factory for the first time EVER! All I can say is HEAVEN! MMMMMMMM...That is now both mine and Beau's FAVORITE restraunt. The kids I think were just extremely happy to get out of the house. Poor little Tilly had just gotten over a high fever and Tucker was sick and tired of being cooped up. After that we just hung out enjoying eachothers company. HAHA..okay by the end of the week we were ready to get back into our routine but it was still a fun time for us.

We colored Easter Eggs and got ready for the Easter Bunny to come and visit. Tucker and Tilly had soooo much fun coloring eggs...and slamming them into the dye..and then cracking them. Oh well it was so much fun. Tilly wanted to take one to bed because it was her baby she said. Man did she have a fit when Beau took her upstairs to bed. HAHA.

Well Easter Day here was uhhh...cold. SO that made getting into our Easter attire not so enjoyable. We did it though..hahaha...that's right sandals and all. Come rain or shine or just really cold weather on Easter day we will wear our sandals and summer dresses. Tucker loved to look at himself in the mirror with his little suit on and Tilly thought she was Cinderella. LOVED IT! Afterwards we went and had dinner with some fabulous friends. I posted a picture of my Lush Pineapple Cake. YUMMMY! We Pretty much had an all around fabulous Spring Break and Easter! We sure did miss our family though.

p.s. I am doing alot of experimenting w/ Photoshop so I know some of the pics are a bit...hmmm..odd looking but I'm learning.

Bedtime Stories...

2008-03-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

So every night as a family we read two books from the library. The kids love it! Tonight we read "Walter the Farting Dog". All I can say is HILLARIOUS! As I was reading it and laughing through it, Beau and the kids were laughing hysterically It was hillarious! Granted it was about a farting dog but it was freakin HILLARIOUS! If you can laugh at this kind of stuff than I totally recommend it for a good laugh. This is going to be a family favorite!

PEEKABOO...

2008-03-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

So here are the ultrasound pictures of our little guy. I'm going to have to say it was such a fun ultrasound. When Beau and I went to Tucker and Tilly's ultrasounds we would get so excited to see them move an arm or leg. BUT THIS LITTLE GUY...holy cow you would've thought that I had downed like 5 cups of coffee. He honestly did not stop moving. We were in there for 30 min or more. They couldn't get the measurements because he wouldn't stay still long enough. It was sooo FUN! I can't wait to meet this little man. Tucker and Tilly are so excited for the baby. Tucker is starting to understand and catch on to the fact that he is going to have a little "br-uh-der". A funny story is that a few days before I found out I was pregnant Tucker was sitting at the table with his head in his hands and let out this HUGE sigh. I asked him what was wrong. Tucker said "Mom, when is my br-uh-der going to get here?" I laughed at him and told him I didn't know he had a brother. He looked up at me with a very serious look and told me "yes mom, my bruhder Max." (we are not naming him Max). He frequently brings "max" up in conversation. Tilly, doesn't really get that I am going to have a baby. I think she just thinks that my belly is a baby right now and always wants to kiss it. Even in church. I know that these two are going to love this little guy so much and I am so excited to have him join us finally. I know Beau is really excited as well. He's going to have his two boys. All Red Sox fans! This is such an exciting time for our family. Having Tucker and Tilly here to join in on the excitement is what makes it that much more exciting for both Beau and myself.
That was a bit long but oh well...they are memories right!

What we've been up to...

2008-03-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

So I wanted to put my ultrasound pictures up but I will do that tomorrow. (I feel like Scarlett O'Hara whenever I say "I'll think about it later" or "I'll do it tomorrow.") So for now here are some pictures of what we've been doing during these awesome February days here in Iowa.

Okay so we really don't frequent McDonald's (or as the kids say..Mic-n-Donalds), but when I need to get out and I don't want my house dirty because I've just cleaned it...this is where we go. Actually it is here or Chic-fil-a. Uh yeah and I don't usually eat anything at McDonalds because the smell of it makes me sick right now. The kids love it here...I think they mainly just love getting a toy w/ their meal. I just wish they would put a play area in this stinkin place. OHHHH I would be in heaven. hahahaha...sad I know.

I don't know if it is just because of this pregnancy or what but I have been obsessed with bathing my kids. If they have the faintest smell to them that I don't like then they get a bath. If Tilly has a poop diaper I usually stick her in to wash her off because I feel like I can still smell it. SOOOO...they usually have no complaints and have been spending alot of time in the tub. Tucker told me once that it was their swimming pool. You see they've been asking me for the past couple of weeks if they can go swimming at the swim place (N.L. swim park). OH HOW I WISH I could take them..but no this weather.

And last but not least a little something for myself. Yes, lately I have been craving these. It didn't help seeing them at Jen's house when she was designing my blog for me. SO THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU....Jen Chandler the lovely lady herself is the one who do such an amazing job with my blog design. I went over to watch and show her what I wanted and this is how it went...
JC: Okay so what do you want?
SR: uhhhhh...hmmmm...uhhhh
JC: Okay what about this...
SR: uhhh...hmmmm...uhhh
JC: What do you think about these colors?
SR: yeah, sure, okay.
JC: Ya know what I will suprise you and do it for you.
SR: OKAY! (Thinking to myself the whole time YES YES YES YES! hahaha)

OKay the conversation didn't go exactly like that but close. haha No really though thank you jen!
OKay back to my STRAWBERRIES! I made some chocolate covered strawberries and MMMMMMMM they are good. I must say since the begining of Feb I started being creative and trying new things w/ meals and I even made homemade wheat bread. WOW I know. What can I say I've got to keep myself busy somehow right.

Such Exciting News...

2008-03-01T22:36:00.001-08:00

I am one of the happiest mom's on the planet right now. Our little bug is strong and healthy and a BOY! I would have been happy with a boy or a girl but to know now that I am having another sweet little bug! Ohhh the joy. I am so excited. I was wanting to scan my ultrasound pictures and post the announcement with those but I can't seem to figure out my scanner. So I will do another post with those pictures but for now I just wanted to announce that I am having a boy. I will write more about the fun ultrasound with the pictures I post later.
p.s. I just have to say I made that announcement in photoshop just playing around. I'm really proud of it because it is my first real project. I KNOW IT IS VERY EASY AND SIMPLE FOR MOST...but for me...a HUGE accomplishment. haha

BOOOORED!!!!

2008-02-25T19:38:00.002-08:00

I am so flippin bored out of my mind. I'm done with this weather. I just want to go outside and not have to deal w/ dirty wet snow or the cold. I'm sick of having to think of activities for inside because it is too cold or wet. I'm sick of sweaters and long sleeves. UGH!
Well the other day i totally gave up on trying to figure out what to do so I let the kids do whatever they wanted. (I was a bit tired as well so I was just veggin on the couch) The kiddios got out their stickers and had FUN! Oh yes there were giggles everywhere. The kids gave alot of thought as to where they should place each sticker. And in Tucker and Tilly's words..."beautiful momma". Well then it was my turn to put stickers all over them...to be honest I really was having fun just goofing around with the kids. SO yeah...that's what we have been doing lately. I'm in desperate need of some beautiful weather and so are the kids.
P.S. We find out what we are having on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Valentine..

2008-02-19T17:17:00.000-08:00

So here is one of my 3 special valentines. Oh how I love this man. Saturday night Beau took me out to Blackstone in Iowa City for dinner. It was soooo good. Best side salad I've ever had. Anyways we had friends watch the kids and it was just so fabulous and romantic. Love this man!
p.s. I have horrible heartburn right now and I am looking for a quick fix. So I google it. I read that if you have a tsp of vinegar it cures it instantly! Well, I did it. And it has...BUT if you do it be very prepared for your throat to be on fire for a bit! hahaha

Help..

2008-02-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Okay I want to do a different background that I don't get sick of. I want to do something simple but cute. I like simple. I am a simple person. And I want to do a picture of the fam in my title box. So info or help would be FAN-TABULOUS!
p.s. I am starting to feel much better...still a bit sluggish but okay.

SICK SICK SICK...

2008-02-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

I AM SO STINKIN SICK! So Sunday morning Beau let me sleep in until 10:30 because I was so exhausted. Well, then when I got up I realized that I was more than just tired. I have the flu. HORRIBLE. I mean if I don't eat a little I get sick because I'm prego but if I do...well you know it just comes back to haunt me. WHAT DO I DO? My body hurts, my head hurts and I am trying to get my kids to understand that I am sick so to just entertain themselves today. Yeah right like they will get it...they're 3 and 2. Anyways Beau took me out this weekend for Valentines Day. I will post more about that at another time. OKay well I am off to lay down.

Winter Days and Valentines...

2008-02-14T19:46:00.000-08:00

Loooooong POST.

So even though we have been homebound the past couple of days due to it being too dang cold outside we have had fun! We actually braved it for the first time a couple of days ago and went outside to play. We DO NOT have the proper winter attire so it was very thrown together. No Matter though we had a blast. The kids went sledding and had snow candy and then after about 20 minutes they were ready to come in. We decided to thaw out by treating ourselves to a nice toasty glass of Stephens Hot Cocoa. LOVE IT!
I was mistaken we have actually taken few trips to the library. The kids love it there. I love how they make it so kid friendly ya know. Anyways since paying our $20 late fee because of a dumb movie ( DON"T RENT FROM A LIBRARY) we have been able to check out books galore. The other we checked out 17 books! We've already been through them several times. Tucker LOVES LOVES LOVES to read to Tilly. Alot of times the kid just memorizes the story...I'm tellin you he is a GENIUS!
The other day Beau's dad came in for a real quick visit. Tucker differentiates his grandpa's by their hair color. Beau's dad is the "White Papa" and my dad is the "Black Papa". So the "WHite Papa" came to visit and let me tell you that was the most exciting thing for those two. They love their Grandmas and Papa's. I don't know though maybe it had something to do with the fact that they got a bit spoiled when he came. Who knows...doesn't really matter though. We just love them and are so happy he came to visit!
Well that about sums up our life as of late. For Valentines Day the kids and I sat around and made Valentines. OH YES and we ate WAY TOO MUCH CANDY!

Welcome...

2008-02-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

SARAH ELIZABETH JARRETT

What a beautiful little girl. Sarah was born February 8th. She was 7lbs. 7oz. 19 1/2 inches. I can't wait until I can actually hold her. It is so hard living so far away from family especially when I'm missing out on such wonderful events.

Libby and Brant Congratulations! Miss you guys! Maybe I can get another picture of her just kind of chillin and not doing the usual Jarrett routine. HAHAHAHA...so kidding.

SOOO BUSTED...

2008-02-10T20:09:00.000-08:00

So there I am sitting on my couch watching a program on sharks(I like Discovery)not noticing that my husband is digging around in my secret hiding place. Hiding place for what? Well it is my hiding place for clothes that I have bought and not told him about. HAHAHAHA. I know NAUGHTY! All of the sudden I hear the crinkling of a sack. My stomach drops...."Sarah...what is this?". This is how I looked when he pulled this out!

I mean come on...I was going to tell him about...just not right away! Sometimes I need to ease him into accepting my purchases. Anyways, I smiled and said "Oh yeah (like it was no biggie) I got those a week ago. I think I might return them.". He just sat there and smiled at me knowing that I was completely full of crap. HAHAHA...I'm going to have to say I was EMBARRASSED! I mean I know I shouldn't keep things from my husband....AND I DON'T..but when it comes to little purchases on clothes or shoes...well then SOMETIMES I am naughty and I don't tell him. I know probably something I need to work on. AND I WILL. From this day forward I will always show him every purchase I have made...big or small. So enough blabbing I'm done.

Awesome Music...

2008-02-08T06:54:00.001-08:00

So I just discovered this guy lastnight while watching Catch and Release. Love that movie by the way. His name is Joshua Radin. I love the music. New favorite of mine.

GOING PRIVATE...

2008-02-02T21:02:00.001-08:00

So I just watched this older Cold Case show and it was all I needed to make this decision. There are so many dang sickos out there that literally search the website for pictures of kids and what not. So not okay with that. So if you want an invite than I need your email. I think I will set it to private on Friday so let me know...even if you just look bt don't comment still let me know your email and I will send an invite.

Mmmmmm Brunch...

2008-02-02T14:22:00.001-08:00

So today we braved the wonderful roads and wnet to a Brunch/Shower for Stacey. I am so glad I went it was so much fun. I was able to see so many people that I don't really get to see that much anymore. I mean not to mention it was nice to see Stacy and visit w/ her before she has baby #2. I am so excited for her, she is going to have fun w/ two little boys. So sorry in advance for so many pics but I still haven't figured out my STUPID Photoshop CS2. I wish I would have just bought the more basic one...okay totally off the subject.
Okay this picture is dumb I know but I had to take a picture because with this pregnancy I've been into fresh fruit....okay and whoppers but still. Loved the fresh fruit. Oh yes and please TRY to ignore the shine coming from my face. SHINE CITY..WOW so embarrassing.

Here is the lovely hostess Kelly. Thanks Kelly for having it at your house.

Here is the beautiful momma to be AGAIN...Stacey.

So the following are pictures of the awesome girls that came and brought their amazing dishes for everyone to enjoy.

Okay this next picture Ijust thought would be fun. So there is me and I'm 15 wks. Then Candice is ummm...well she has 49 days left..I'm not good at math. And then Stacey who will be induced on Friday...

And then I took the kiddos so that Beau could study. All I have to say is that I am so lucky to have two kids that love to play together and are so well behaved. LOVE EM!

What a day...

2008-01-30T18:06:00.000-08:00

Wow what a day I tell ya. Seriously, who knew sitting on your rear most of the day could take so much out of you? hahaha. Wow I am so ready for this AWESOME weather to pass. Well, we had a pretty pointless and non productive day today but ya know it's okay. OH YES and Tilly is going to start getting potty trained. She was so excited about her big girl pants that she had a pair on her bum, head and a pair in her hands. WOW..she loved them. Tucker of course had to look as cool as his sister so he got a pair of his super hero undies. He was so cute he kept asking me to pull his hair through the holes like Tilly. HAHAHA...what a great way to end the day I tell ya. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit more productive. CROSS YOUR FINGERS!

Dum-da-dum.....

2008-01-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

Okay so I took everyone's advice and went and had my hair colored and bangs cut. FUN I love to feel spoiled. hehe So tell me what you think. I had to take these pics myself so they arent the best. AND this is the hairstyle that the hairdresser did. I like it but I don't think I would make it as flat to my head.
So here is the "BEFORE" picture...

And a few of the after...

The wonderful weather in Iowa...

2008-01-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

Wasn't yesterdays weather GREAT?! I loved it. Well it's gone...so stop celebrating.

I was a bit curious about the wonderful weather we were going to have today so I looked it up on weather.com This is what I found...

A BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 9 AM THIS MORNING TO 9 PM CST THIS EVENING.

A STRONG ARCTIC COLD FRONT WILL SWEEP THROUGH THE AREA AROUND SUNRISE. VERY STRONG WINDS OF 25 TO 40 MPH WITH GUSTS TO 50 MPH WILL GRADUALLY COMBINE WITH 1 TO 2 INCHES OF NEW SNOW TO CREATE WIDESPREAD BLOWING SNOW. LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS NEAR 3 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE. THIS WILL RESULT IN EXTENDED PERIODS OF WHITE OUT CONDITIONS...ESPECIALLY IN OPEN AND RURAL AREAS. TEMPERATURES WILL RAPIDLY FALL TO BELOW ZERO BY SUNSET AND COMBINED WITH THE STRONG WINDS... DANGEROUS WIND CHILLS OF 10 TO 30 BELOW ZERO ARE EXPECTED. ANYONE STRANDED OUTSIDE WILL BE AT RISK OF THEIR LIFE WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION.

THE SNOW WILL END BY EARLY EVENING WITH WINDS SLOWLY DIMINISHING AFTER MIDNIGHT. A WIND CHILL ADVISORY OR WARNING IS LIKELY TO BE ISSUED FOR TONIGHT.

weather.com

FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!
(I hope you are all sensing the sarcasm)

So yes I am..........

2008-01-25T19:42:00.001-08:00

PREGO! Yes, I know that most of you know already but oh well. I am 14 1/2 wks and I was able to go to th doctor today and listen to the heartbeat. I LOVE THAT PART! It is so awesome to actually hear the little ticker working.hehehe. I am really excited about this pregnancy I've been wanting it for a litte while.
So far this has been an okay pregnancy. I was hit hard w/ nausea and fatigue, but I'm doing alot better. I mean...man do I still get tired but the nausea isn't as bad. Okay another thing...I am already having bad heartburn. WHAT THE HECK! Is that normal? I've already downed 8 Tums tonight. It's killin me Smalls. Seriously. So yes there you are...I'm not just fat. Although man it seems like the weight gain is coming on strong. HEHEHE...maybe if I wasn't feeding my face all the time. HAHHAAHA.

To Cut...or Not to Cut...

2008-01-24T20:40:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have been debating for a while about getting bangs. I don't know what to do so I am asking all of you. My only concern is that my nose would protrude a bit more than usual and that I will have "big face". So please do give me your honest opinions. Now I really like Katie Holmes bangs...ummm...in fact I like her hair period..but once again do tell me your opinion. PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!

Happy Birthday and some Christmas..

2008-01-23T19:16:00.001-08:00

So important things first. On January 20th my amazing husband celebrated his 28th birthday! So I would like to write a few fabulous facts about him that made me...and make me still fall even more in love with him. Ohhhhhhhh.

1. Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxyyyyy! hehehe
2. Beau is just a sincerely nice person to everyone he meets.
3. He is sensitive...but you would only know that if you were very close to him.
4. ANAL...that's all I have to say. (I'd rather have him this way than be a slob)
5. He has the funniest sense of humor.
6. One thing that I admire is that if you ask Beau for a favor he will do it. Without thinking (most of the time) he is quick to say yes I can do it or let me see what I can do.
7. The first thing he does when he gets home from school is wrestle with the kids. THEY LOVE IT! He is the most amazing dad and we love him so much.
8. Beau still to this day is always trying to do little suprises or let me sleep in just to show me how much he loves me. I feel more spoiled now than I did when we were dating. What a lucky girl I am.
9. He is a worthy priesthood holder and is always trying to becomea better person.
10. What an amazing athlete. Yep he is. He is very atletic and loves the BO-SOX.

Well there are sooooo many more things I could say. Pretty much I am married to such a magnificent person. He really truly is just amazing to me. I am so blessed to have been able to be sealed to my best friend for time and all eternity. I love you babe!

****NOW the few pictures we have from Christmas. Real pathetic I know. We had our camera the night before Christmas but then we lost it and then I found it the day I left to come back to Iowa. Nice. hahaha

So the two above pictures are of Tucker and Tily in their Christmas aprons. Christmas eve all 10 (with three on the way) grandkids on my side decorated sugar cookies in their new christmas aprons from Grannie.
We actually had a blast during Christmas it was so nice to see both families and spend quality time with them.

These two pictures are at the airport in Denver. Saying goodbye is always hard. Although when you are getting searched because you have a small metal toy gun in your purse it kind of helps you take your mind off goodbyes. I know we sucked with the pictures but honestly we lost our camera and then I thought beau took it home until I found it the night before I went home. Lame but at least we have the few memories we have.

Oh the JOY!

2008-01-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

*****Warning this is not a positive post*****

Well, I don't know about all of you but the week you come back from vacation is QUITE the adjustment! I have been sooo bored since I got back. Just having to get back into being alone most of the day is hard. I've noticed that I watch the clock like crazy waiting for 5 or 6 to come around so I can go and pick up Beau. I know sad huh? It's not like I don't have things to do....I just get bored with it. Siiiiiiiiigh. Oh well, Just needed to vent.
p.s. THIS WEATHER IS NOT HELPING!
p.s.s. or p.p.s. I know it is one of those. Anyways I know I totally should have posted picutres but they are upstairs and I didn't want to run upstairs for them. Yep LAAAAAZY!

WOW...All I can say is AH-MAZING!

2008-01-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

This has to be one of the BEST movies that I have seen in a long time. Talk about TEAR JERKER! I was full on blubbering during and AFTER the show! This was such a beautiful show. I was lucky because I got to go with my mom and sister to it. WOW..we were talking about it the next day. So....what I am trying to say is... GO AND SEE THIS if you haven't yet. I promise you will love it.
I am going to be posting some pictures when I get back to Iowa, which isn't until the 18th so sorry it's been a while!

Ice and Christmas...you can't beat that.

2007-12-20T17:25:00.000-08:00

I bribed Tilly to sing her famous Frosty the Snowman song that she sings ALL DAY LONG. I love it though.

Here is the little man do an EXCELLENT version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

What can I say the kids got talent. So here are a few pictures of the ice storm that we had for a week. I am just now able to post them so I hope you all enjoy!

F.Y.I

2007-12-17T18:29:00.000-08:00

OKay to hear that song you need to copy and paste the address and then a page should come up with the song playing on it!

I'm Proud of our Men and Women in the Armed Forces!

2007-12-15T19:39:00.002-08:00

So my sister sent this song to me to listen to....WOW talk about a TEAR JERKER! Seriously I was crying! Beau sat and listened to it and i swear I saw some tears welling up in those big beautiful eyes. It just broke my heart to hear this song. I mean I know it is just a song BUT you know somewhere there is a boy or a girl that is just praying for the safe return of his/her mom or dad. Especially at Christmas time. I know that while I was listening to it I remembered how I felt when we had to say goodbye to my dad when he left for Iraq. I was DEVASTATED! I wrote in a journal almost everyday that he was gone begging Heavenly Father to bring him back to us. I remember that I promised over and over that I would NEVER EVER sin again and I would be so perfect if he could just come back. Well, I guess I am perfect because he came back. hahaha..no but seriously it was a hard time and my heart just breaks for those families that are not together right now.
How lucky are we though to have such brave men and women out there putting their lives on the line for US, the American People. I get so mad when people are negative about our men and women over there. They are over there for each and every one of us. They are there because they believe in our Nation and in Freedom. My little brother may go over one day and I sure as heck am proud of him. And I just wanted him to know that.
WHEW! Okay so sorry I went off there but when I listened to that song it just brought up a TON of emotions and stuff. Well you all need to listen to the song so click on the link and listen!

ONE MORE THING!

I WANT TO WISH ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN IN OUR ARMED FORCES AND THEIR FAMILIES A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Here is the link to click on and listen to this song. Seriously you need a tissue!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=292919261

3 months and already in the shop...

2007-12-14T19:50:00.001-08:00

Well as most of you have noticed I haven't done a decent post in a while. Go ahead and ask..."What's the reason Sarah?" well I will tell you. My computer broke already and I have only had it for 3 months. So yes it is in the shops and I can't figure out how to post pictures on Beau's "OH SO FANCY SHMANCY MAC." Give me a break if these things were so fan-tabulous don't you think it would be easier to figure out? Uh yeah. anyways I will be posting in a while so don't give up on me. hahahaha...have a great weekend everyone!

Queen of Hair color...

2007-12-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

So I was just browsing through my blog and I realized something...I am the QUEEN of coloring hair. I think I saw maybe 4 different colors going on there. Yeah, I am being so serious! I am surprised it is just now hitting me that I like to change it up so much! BUT ya know at least I won't look back when i am old and decrepit(s/p) and think..hmmm...I should have been more daring. So all I can say to all of you who think I have a problem w/ changing my hair so much (family hehe) I really don't care. You know you all want to do it. Admit it...I am brave and you are not. HAHAHA..only kidding. I know I am teased because they love me. Anyways, pointless blog but like I said this is kind of a journal for me.

Howdy Y'all...

2007-11-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

Random post here...

Love my little cowfolk! I love that Tucker and Tilly love to dress up in their cowboy clothes. It is just so stinkin cute!

Well here's my little man and little lady being the western folk that they are in their hearts. Tucker was set on dressing like "Hansom" today. Hansen is a cousin of mine that Tucker and Tilly watched in a rodeo. One of Tucker's many heros. Of course his daddy is the biggest and most important hero of all...and there are many others but anyways. Tucker asked me if he could get dressed like "Hansom" today. Then of course Sissy had to wear her boots as well and start in w/ saying "HEE-YAH" "HEE-YAH" as she is running back and forth. Now, Tucker keeps asking me if he can go ride the horses w/ Shannon (Hansen's sister, my cousin). Of course he can't, but he is just not getting it. So when we go back home to visit we HAVE to see the horses again. That is a must. We can't wait to go see family for the holidays!

Our fabulous Thanksgiving...

2007-11-26T15:38:00.000-08:00

PICTURE OVERLOAD!!!! Sorry about the quality of the pictures.

So we had a great Thanksgiving thanks again to the...OH SO WONDERFUL Hunter's. So on Thanksgiving Day we went and had steak fondue w/ them becuase The Doctor was working..(ohhh so sad). We celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday and it was oh so lovely. One of my favorite days because of all the food. Delicious! And of course we had the annual Gingerbread house decorating event! I love to decorate...ALL BY MYSLEF! hahaha..It is supposed to be a family thing and yet I always seem to be w/out MY family. Beau was busy watching football and the kids were chasing Koda (Kyle and Angela's new dog).
I do realize that there are not any pictures of my husband. Well, the reason is because the pictures I did have of him didn't turn out. Beau and flashes do not mix. Anyways, I just want to say how thankful I am for all of the friends we have here in Iowa. They really do become a second family. We love and appreciate all of you.
P.s. if anyone can tell me why my camera is retarded and making fuzzy or hazy pictures please let me know. Thanks

Are you kidding me?

2007-11-19T20:50:00.001-08:00

I am going to have to say that I was SHOCKED! WOW. I honestly thought for sure Deanna but NO. After watching I really felt bad for both girls. How sad they were...I mean they were really really crushed. Poor things. BUT on the other hand...if he wasn't feeling it then good for him. Then again he may be getting a little too comfy with his single bachelor life and doesn't want to just settle with one lovely lady (I personally don't think he is like that..because I know him so well hehehe)...if that is the case then ...well naughtiness. haha

Wind Beneath My Wings...

2007-11-17T21:59:00.001-08:00

So I just watched Beaches lastnight. I love that movie. I cry everytime I watch it. I still remember watching it with my mom and sometimes my sisters...oh the memories. Anyways this song is on there, I know, I really do know. CHEEEEEEESY! BUT it is a very dear song to me. It reminds me of my mom. Growing up I remember listening to Bette all the time...and I remember singing it at the top of my lungs w/ my mom. I still do sing it and I LOVE IT! Drives Beau crazy though. haha
So I know not everything in this song applies to my mom but ALOT of it does. Or maybe I should say the main part...that Iknow. My mom is the wind beneath my wings. She is strong. And I do want to be everything that she is. She is such an amazing woman.

BUT I also am going to have to say that I have found and am married to my best friend he is also the wind beneath my wings. He has such a strength. I know I can depend on him for anything. He is there for anything and everything I need. I am in total aww of how physically (ohhh lala), emotionally and spiritually strong he is not just for himself but for me as well. With you by my side I am a better person and I thank you for that. I love you honey. So this song is for you as well....I know you love it. Just imagine me singing this to you with my broadway vocals.

So I am sorry folks but I am going to leave this song on my blog until after Thanksgiving. Because I love it.